


Then there Was a Star Danced, and Under That Was the Buttercup Born

by SuikoKitten



Series: Is This Love? [3]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Geralt doesn't know what he's doing, Geralt gets to babysit, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, kid!jaskier, mild canon-typical violence, no beta we burn like Cintra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24477679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuikoKitten/pseuds/SuikoKitten
Summary: Eskel is planning a surprise birthday party for Jaskier, who is turning ten.  He won't be able to keep his gift for Jaskier a secret unless they split up on their way back to Kaer Morhen.  So, Eskel asks his brother, Geralt, to take care of Jaskier and make sure he gets home to the keep safely.Geralt really does not want to care about this loud-mouthed, rambling kid.  But Jaskier is very good at worming into people's hearts, even the stone cold hearts of witchers like him.
Relationships: Eskel & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Vesemir
Series: Is This Love? [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723891
Comments: 57
Kudos: 159





	1. Chapter 1

Jaskier would be ten years old in a few weeks. Eskel wanted to make it special for him and he knew exactly what to get for Jaskier that would really please the child: a lute. Eskel had been scrimping and putting money back for Jaskier’s college fund, but he had also been putting money back for an instrument for the boy to actually learn to play. You can’t be a bard without an instrument, right? And Jaskier still talked about wanting to be a bard. Jaskier was always fascinated by the bards they saw in taverns as they walked the Path together. It was more than a passing fancy. It was something that was a part of Jaskier from the day they met and Eskel doubted that it would ever stop being part of Jaskier. So, Eskel would encourage him and support him in his interests. 

It was midsummer, but Eskel had already made arrangements with Vesemir to make a trip up to Kaer Morhen for a birthday party for Jaskier. The older witcher hadn’t seemed overly excited about the idea, but Eskel knew that Vesemir had fallen for Jaskier just as hard as he and Lambert had. The witchers would all meet up at Kaer Morhen in a few weeks to celebrate Jaskier’s birthday. But Eskel couldn’t keep a lute a secret for three weeks, so he had to get away from the child until he could procure the instrument and get it up to Kaer Morhen without Jaskier suspecting a thing. 

So, after talking it out with the other witchers via letters, Eskel decided that Geralt would take Jaskier for a couple of weeks. The witcher’s reasoning was this: Lambert was on the opposite side of the continent and Geralt just so happened to also be in Cintra. Eskel had to travel to the city of Cintra to purchase a high quality lute. 

Geralt reluctantly agreed to meet with him in a small village near Ortagor. Eskel hadn’t told Jaskier about their plans when they checked into the inn and settled down for the night. Jaskier loved Geralt, though, so he didn’t think Jaskier would really mind going with him for a few weeks. 

Jaskier stripped into his smallclothes and crawled into bed, hugging Dandelion against his chest. He might have been getting a little old for sleeping with a stuffed animal, but Eskel didn’t see how sleeping with a stuffed animal did anyone any harm and if Jaskier wanted to do it, he wouldn’t say anything about it. 

Eskel sat down on the side of the bed and opened the storybook they had been reading together for the past couple of weeks. Jaskier listened eagerly as Eskel read from the pages. Once the story was finished, Eskel kissed Jaskier on the forehead and Jaskier kissed him on the cheek. The witcher carefully tucked the blankets around the child and his stuffed animal. 

“I’m going out for a little while tonight, Jaskier,” Eskel informed the yawning child. “Don’t worry about it, though, because I’m just meeting up with a friend for a drink tonight. I’ll be in the tavern downstairs if you need me, okay? Good night, kid.” 

Jaskier nodded. “Good night, Eskel. I love you!” 

Eskel smiled at him warmly. “I love you, Jaskier. Get some sleep.” 

Jaskier closed his eyes and Eskel tidied up a bit before moving to the door. He glanced back at the child for a moment and then left, careful not to make noise. The tavern was boisterous and loud as he went down the stairs and he ignored the loudest patrons who were shouting in the middle of the room when he reached the bottom of the stairs. It was easy to find Geralt, who was brooding in a corner as per usual. Eskel ordered some drinks and made his way to Geralt’s booth. 

“Hey,” Eskel greeted his brother. 

“Hey,” Geralt grunted in reply. 

“You know, you used to be happier to see me, Geralt.” 

“That was before you picked up a kid and asked me to babysit for almost a month.” Geralt answered; Eskel felt a twinge of worry sprout in his chest. 

Eskel sighed heavily into the mug of ale that the maid handed him. “You’re going to keep an eye on him while he’s with you, right? If you don’t want to take him for a while, then I can figure something else out. We can meet up with Lambert and just do the party thing late. I don’t think Jaskier will mind.” 

“I didn’t say that,” Geralt answered. “I’ll keep him for you and I won’t let anything happen to him. And we will be in Kaer Morhen in three weeks.” 

Eskel sighed with relief. Geralt’s lips twitched into a smile before he schooled his expression into his resting grump face. Geralt wanted to help. They were brothers, so it was only natural for them to care for each others’ well-being. And Geralt knew how important Jaskier was to Eskel. 

“We’ll tell him what the plan is in the morning, then. He has his own pack and it will have everything he needs for the journey. He knows how to start a campfire and set up camp, too, so he won’t just be watching you get things ready while you travel. He is eager to learn and he likes to help out, so if it’s safe, let him. He can do more than you probably think he can.” 

“Hmm.” Geralt confirmed that he was listening. 

Jaskier was going to talk Geralt’s head off. They would probably make it to Kaer Morhen in one piece, but Geralt would probably be ready to pull his hair out by the time they arrived. Even so, Geralt would get Jaskier to Kaer Morhen safe and Jaskier wouldn’t be dead weight. They would be fine. Probably. 

“He likes bedtime stories. I don’t expect you to go all paternal on him, but please be nice about it? He really likes you, Geralt.” 

“He barely knows me,” Geralt grunted. 

“We wintered together this past year. He would know you better if you hadn’t tried to avoid him like the plague.” 

“... Humans are fragile, Eskel. Human children more so. They die easily. I don’t want to get attached.” 

There it was, the truth. Eskel knew Geralt didn’t dislike Jaskier, even if he tried to push the kid away and keep his distance. There was truly no one that Eskel would trust more with Jaskier’s life than Geralt of Rivia. 

“You’ll feel better if you don’t fight it. Witchers aren’t supposed to feel things, but that doesn’t mean we don’t. We feel just like humans do and fighting those emotions only hurts us in the long run.” 

Geralt didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t argue with him. The pair of witchers drank their ale and slowly their conversation drifted to recent hunts, recent interactions with humans, sexual activities (or the lack thereof), and the fun times they had had in the keep over the years. 

“I got a room with two beds, by the way,” Eskel said when they finished their third mugs of ale. “If you haven’t already spent coin on a room, you can share ours. I’ll sleep with Jaskier.” 

“Thanks,” Geralt answered. 

The following morning, Geralt and Eskel awoke before Jaskier. Eskel took advantage of the opportunity to explain some of Jaskier’s likes and dislikes, some allergies they had discovered, and some of the boy’s fears. Geralt listened intently, but he looked a little stressed about all the information. Eskel considered maybe writing it all down in a list for Geralt’s reference, just to make them both feel better about the situation. 

When Jaskier woke up, he got up to wash his face without acknowledging Eskel or Geralt. Once he was finished, he grabbed his brush and carefully smoothed out his hair with it, untangling it carefully. Once satisfied, he turned around to greet Eskel and froze when he saw Eskel sitting across from Geralt at the little table by the window. 

A huge grin spread across Jaskier’s face and he ran across the room to them. He jumped on Geralt and wrapped his arms around the witcher tightly. Geralt stiffened beneath the child, but wrapped his arms around him anyway. Eskel nodded approvingly. 

“Geralt! I missed you!” 

“Good morning, Jaskier,” Geralt dodged. 

“Good morning, Jaskier,” Eskel added. “Geralt and I have a surprise for you.” 

“A surprise?!” Jaskier was delighted. 

Eskel chuckled at him. “Yes, a surprise. I have something I need to do, but you can’t come with me for it.” Jaskier’s face fell and Eskel quickly continued. “So, you’re going to travel with Geralt for a few weeks. I’ll meet up with you again before you know it. And you’re going to have so much fun with Geralt that you won’t even miss me.” 

“Geralt! I get to go with you for a while? Where are we going? Why can’t I come? Is it really okay for me to go with you, Geralt?” 

Jaskier’s questions came like a waterfall of curiosity, excitement, and anxiety all bundled into one small package. Eskel fielded most of the questions, careful to avoid the real explanation for why they were separating for now. He didn’t want to ruin the surprise! Geralt’s answers were shorter, naturally, but Jaskier seemed satisfied with them. All-in-all, it didn’t seem as if things would be too terribly different for Jaskier when he traveled with Geralt, so the child appeared to feel safe enough to travel alone with the white-haired witcher. He expressed some mild concern about being away from Eskel for such a long time after traveling together for two years now, but Eskel did everything he could to ease the child’s fears. 

After breakfast, they bid each other farewell with lots of hugs and kisses. Jaskier shouldered his little pack and wore his dagger on his hip as he followed Geralt to the stables where Roach and Scorpion were waiting. They mounted up and rode in opposite directions out of the small village. 

A few days passed without incident. Geralt answered Jaskier’s questions as monosyllabically as possible and Jaskier was having a blast with his new travel companion. He slipped Roach sugar cubes and pieces of his apples when they camped. Geralt hunted for food and Jaskier helped him set up camp and cook the animals he caught. 

Geralt was relieved to see that Jaskier was largely independent and knew what to do when they were camping and listened to the witcher closely. Jaskier was also very efficiently burrowing his way deeper into Geralt’s heart. The witcher caught himself smiling at the child’s antics and questions more and more often and he found himself indulging the boy’s curiosities more often than he liked. It was fine, though. It was just for a few weeks and it wasn’t like Geralt was letting himself get too attached. He was doing a good enough job, he thought, at keeping his distance. There were certain things he did not indulge the child in and he made sure to come across as grumpier than he really was as often as possible. But none of that deterred Jaskier, who seemed to take Geralt’s reticence and curt responses as an invitation to shower the witcher with affection.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bandits are bullies and Jaskier does not like them. Neither does Geralt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some mild implication during some dialogue about a child being sold to someone for nefarious but unspecified purposes. It is brief and will not be mentioned again.

It was day six of their travels together when it happened. 

“I’m going hunting,” Geralt informed Jaskier. 

They were traveling between a couple of small villages after completing a simple drowner contract. Geralt got paid and they left as soon as possible, because the villagers were not especially fond of witchers (not all that unusual, but Geralt didn’t want to subject himself to more abuse than was really necessary. He was no masochist). The sun was about to set and Geralt opted to go hunting rather than simply nibbling on jerky that night. They could have a little stew. Eskel said the kid liked rabbit stew. Geralt justified the decision to himself by reasoning that he also liked rabbit stew. 

Geralt left Jaskier with Roach and let the boy go about finishing setting up their little campsite. Jaskier was content to do so. It was a beautiful evening and Jaskier liked the normalcy of the tasks he had been given. It was like being with Eskel, only obviously not. It both made him feel better about missing Eskel and made him miss Eskel a little more, but Jaskier wasn’t overly distressed by it. They would see each other again soon. 

A twig snapped somewhere to the north and Jaskier froze in his tracks, holding a small log in his arms. Geralt had gone south, toward the river. He doubted Geralt would have circled around to the north of their campsite if he was coming back with food. Out of the corner of his eye, Jaskier noticed Roach shifting nervously and tossing her head. She knew something was wrong, too, then. 

Jaskier reached for the dagger on his hip and tried to breathe normally. Whoever it was hadn’t tried to approach yet, so it probably wasn’t some nice person out on a walk or lost or anything like that. Was it an animal? A monster? A person? He pulled the dagger out of its sheath and held it the way that Eskel had taught him. 

An arrow whizzed through the air, brushing past his ear and Jaskier jerked away, dropping his defensive stance in a moment of panic. There was noise in the brush around the camp and the next thing Jaskier knew, a handful of scary looking men walked into the camp. Jaskier brandished his dagger, unable to find his voice as his gaze slid over the wicked looking men and their swords and knives. One of them had a bow and had an arrow notched and ready to fire. 

“Put it down, kid. We don’t want to hurt you.” The man closest to him said, crossing the short distance between them slowly, reaching for Jaskier and his dagger. 

Jaskier pulled away, too frightened to breathe. The man raised an eyebrow at him and gestured to the archer. The boy backed into another man and immediately spun around and pointed the dagger at him. 

“Do you know what it feels like to have an arrow pierce your chest, kid?” Jaskier glanced at the man anxiously. “What about how it feels when it’s pulled out? The way the arrowhead’s corners rip through your skin like a fishhook in a cod’s mouth?” 

Jaskier shook his head. “N-no.” He managed to answer, but his voice only came out as a whisper. 

“Give me the dagger, kid. Unless you want to find out.” The man stepped closer to Jaskier, who was staring at the archer, pupils dilated. The man grabbed Jaskier’s wrist with one hand and pulled the dagger out of his hand with the other. “There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” 

Jaskier’s heart pounded against his chest. He should scream, but he couldn’t. What if they hurt Geralt like that man had hurt Eskel? It would be his fault! It would be his fault, because he was small and weak and scared! 

“These are some nice threads, kid. What’s a nobleman’s boy doing camping out in the wilderness like this? Did mommy and daddy want to tough it out for a night or two and pretend to be like the common folk?” 

Jaskier shook his head. “Let go, please,” he whispered as the man pulled him closer. 

“I don’t think so. Cute little boy like you will go for a fair price. Either your parents will pay to get you back or the highest bidder will take you off our hands for even more.” 

“GERALT!” Jaskier shrieked, stomping on the man’s foot hard enough to make him release Jaskier’s wrist. 

Jaskier ran in the direction Geralt had left in, but didn’t make it more than a couple of steps before a hand buried itself in his hair and another grabbed his upper arm, jerking him back. Jaskier opened his mouth to scream again, but the man pressed his hand against his mouth. He flailed and kicked, but the man holding him didn’t let go no matter how hard Jaskier hit him. Around them, the other men were digging through their packs and in Roach’s saddlebags for anything valuable. Roach reared back and kicked at the men assaulting her. 

Jaskier bit the man’s hand and screamed, not bothering to form words this time. It was happening again! Someone was going to take him and someone was going to hurt Eskel-! A fist buried itself in the child’s stomach and he crumpled with a yelp. Tears slipped down his cheeks. It really hurt! 

Something swooshed by Jaskier and his captor. It made contact with one of the men’s chests with a sickening thud. The man stumbled backward and dropped. The archer spun to face the direction the object- a knife- had come from and released the arrow. A steel sword sliced the arm off of the man closest to the edge of the camp. That same sword pierced his stomach and a boot shoved him off the blade. 

Geralt stood in the camp next to the dying man. The arrow had missed its mark and Geralt stood there, ready to kill every single man in their camp. Blood slid down the sword’s length and into the dirt at Geralt’s feet. The rest of the men froze in their tracks. 

“Let the boy go and I will let the rest of you live.” Geralt snarled, cat eyes boring holes into the man holding Jaskier. “Refuse and die.” 

The men stared at the witcher, starting to understand the error they had made. Geralt took a menacing step forward and Jaskier’s captor dragged him a step back. 

“What the hell?” The man asked. “A witcher with a kid?! What, did his parents pay you to babysit or somethin? Who would give their kid to a witcher, even for protection?” 

“It’s none of your concern. Let him go or die.” 

“How do I know you won’t just kill me anyway?” 

“You’ll just have to take my word for it. Refuse and you die for sure. It’s less risky to let him go than it is to keep your filthy hands on him.” 

The man’s gaze slid down to his now dead friend. Jaskier squirmed against the man’s grip. He tightened his grip on the boy’s arms and Geralt slid into a readier stance, making eye contact with the man and glaring at him. Suddenly, the man’s hands released Jaskier’s upper arms and he shoved the child away. Jaskier stumbled and fell to his knees. The man turned and bolted; his friends dropped what they were taking and fled behind him. 

Geralt sheathed his sword and rushed over to Jaskier. Jaskier sobbed as Geralt pulled him up to his feet and knelt down beside the child. Geralt looked Jaskier over for injuries, but he didn’t see anything major. He rolled Jaskier’s sleeves up to look at his forearms and lifted his shirt to look at his abdomen, maybe a bit more roughly than was necessary. There would be bruises, but no serious damage had been done. Yes, he would be fine. Geralt felt a weight lift off his shoulders. 

Jaskier wrapped his arms around Geralt’s neck desperately and wailed. “They’re gonna hurt Es-Eskel!” 

“I doubt that,” Geralt answered coolly, pulling the child up and into his lap as he settled into a cross-legged position. “You’re okay. Eskel is fine. They were just bandits looking for some quick coin. That’s all.” The words felt foreign on Geralt’s tongue and he wasn’t sure if any of them sounded believable or not. “They’re gone now and won’t be back. And if they do come back, I’ll kill them all this time.” 

Jaskier didn’t stop crying. Geralt wasn’t sure what to do. Was telling him that he would kill the bandits too much or something? Didn’t the kid believe him? Geralt tried to remember if Eskel had mentioned anything serious regarding his travels with Jaskier, but nothing really came to mind. There had to be a reason, though, that Jaskier’s first thought was that someone was going to kill Eskel when Eskel was miles and miles away from here. 

“Hum…” Geralt muttered helplessly. 

“I want Eskel!” Jaskier wailed. 

Geralt wanted Eskel, too. “It’s just a couple more weeks. It’s alright.” 

“But what if it isn’t him when we get wherever we meet him?” Jaskier asked, giving Geralt his complete attention through his tears. 

“I- What?” Geralt was certain he missed something important somewhere. 

“What if it’s someone else pretending to be Eskel when we get there?” Jaskier repeated, almost sounding annoyed through the fear. 

“If it’s a doppler or a doppelganger, then I’ll kill it and we will find Eskel.” Geralt answered. 

“What’s a doppelganger?” Yes, good, curiosity won over the fear. Geralt had a better idea of how to handle an annoying, curious child. 

Ah, except doppelgangers usually killed the person they were impersonating. Geralt didn’t want to lie to the kid, but he couldn’t tell him the whole truth. He only asked about a doppelganger, though. Had Eskel been hired to kill a doppler? That could have been messy and scary for a kid. 

“Geralt?” Jaskier prompted. 

“Hm? Oh.” Geralt shrugged. “It’s like a doppler, but different.” There! That was sufficient, right? Hmm, nope. The kid didn’t look satisfied. 

“Are you going back to hunt again?” Jaskier settled on another topic, which was pressing on his mind more than the doppelganger. “Can I come with you? I don’t want to be by myself. What if they come back?” 

Geralt huffed. Jaskier would scare off every rabbit, deer, and other such game for miles if he tagged along. It really wasn’t worth it. They had food; Geralt just wanted to treat Jaskier to something more filling than jerky. What was he doing, trying so hard to make the kid happy and comfortable? Had he lost his mind? 

“We have jerky and dried fruits.” Geralt waved it off. “And some bread. Fresh rabbit is nice, but I’d rather not try to go back hunting today. Just in case they do come back.” 

That was the wrong thing to say; he could tell by the terror in Jaskier’s eyes. Why was he still talking? Geralt usually didn’t talk this much anyway to adults, so why was he talking to the kid this much? Aside from the fact that he would probably have just kept crying and crying until Geralt managed more words, that is. 

Geralt put Jaskier down next to the fire and pulled out some of his rations. He gave Jaskier some and pulled out a bit for himself. He split the bread with Jaskier and they ate in silence. 

Jaskier set up his bedroll next to the fire, chewing on his lip and looking around anxiously as if he thought someone would come murder them. Geralt set his bedroll up next to Jaskier’s so that Jaskier had the fire protecting one side of himself and Geralt protecting the other. Jaskier looked a little surprised. Usually, Geralt preferred to sleep on the other side of the fire, away from Jaskier. 

Geralt had diligently avoided conversation with Jaskier since the attack and Jaskier had been uncharacteristically quiet since then, too. It was concerning. Geralt was a little worried about what Eskel would say if he returned Jaskier broken. Eskel would never forgive him, that was for sure. The other witcher might even try to kill him if he thought Jaskier had been seriously hurt in some way. What would Geralt do then? 

Jaskier took the stuffed dog, burrowed under his blankets in the bedroll, and rolled onto his side, facing the fire. He squeezed the toy tightly as Geralt finished tending to his gear. With a soft sigh, Geralt put his things away and laid down to rest on his own bedroll, pulling the blankets up over his chest. He closed his eyes and waited for sleep to claim him. 

A soft voice interrupted the silence that fell over them as the night deepened. “Geralt?” Jaskier sounded a little closer than Geralt expected, so he opened his eyes and looked at the child. 

“What?” 

“Do you like me, Geralt?” 

“What do you mean?” Geralt frowned at the child, who was giving him a deeper frown. 

“Eskel said you liked me a long time ago, but you never really acted like you like me. You hardly talked to me or even looked at me all winter at Kaer Morhen. And you never sleep next to me like this at night. Are you sleeping next to me because you like me or because you’re worried something might happen to your brother’s kid to make him mad at you?” 

A nine-year-old child shouldn’t be as perceptive as this one was. It was weird and it caught Geralt off guard. He frowned at Jaskier as he tried to come up with an answer. 

“I don’t dislike you.” Geralt answered; Jaskier frowned back at him. “I’m sleeping next to you tonight in case they come back. I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

Jaskier nodded, but seemed uncertain. Geralt wasn’t sure what else to say or do, so he said and did nothing. He rolled over and closed his eyes to sleep. He heard Jaskier sniffle and shift under his blankets, but noted that there was no salty scent of tears in the air. He counted that as a victory: the kid was safe and he wasn’t crying anymore. Success! Wait. He was getting invested. Damn it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geralt doesn't pay much mind to the normal snake that was slithering around near the river. He regrets it.

The following morning, Geralt set about cleaning up their camp while Jaskier slept in a little. He didn’t look up from his work when he heard Jaskier get out of bed with a soft sigh. He loaded his bedroll on Roach’s back and turned to face the child. Jaskier was wearing the little dagger on his belt, just as he had since Eskel had left him with him. It gave Geralt a puzzling warm sensation in his gut and it was unsettling. 

“Has Eskel taught you how to use that?” Geralt asked, gesturing to the dagger. 

“Some!” Jaskier answered. “I’m not very good at it yet, but Eskel said not to worry about it too much, because I’m still little.” 

“Hmm.” Geralt answered and turned back to his work. 

Geralt heard Jaskier start to pack his things away after a brief pause. Jaskier walked up beside him and held the bedroll out for Geralt to take and put on Roach’s back. Geralt took it and handed Jaskier some jerky for breakfast. Jaskier took it with a bright smile and started eating. The kid was so easy to please. And he really liked Geralt, which confused Geralt to no end. This child was so strange! An enigma! A puzzle that Geralt seemed to be unable to find the pieces for. 

“How did you sleep?” Geralt heard himself asking before kicking himself for engaging the child in conversation. He was trying to keep his distance, but it was getting harder and harder to do so. 

“Good!” Jaskier answered. 

It was like the excitement from the previous night hadn’t even happened. But Geralt had also noticed that the boy had slept better last night than he had since they started traveling together. Was it because he was afraid to sleep alone? Did Geralt need to sleep next to him to make him feel safe? 

“Good,” Geralt said, thoroughly finished with the conversation and the protective feelings that it stirred in his chest. 

Jaskier wasn’t ready to disengage, though. “How did you sleep?” 

“Fine.” Geralt grunted. 

Jaskier wasn’t deterred by Geralt’s attempt to end the conversation. A thoughtful, mildly worried expression worked its way onto Jaskier’s face. Geralt wondered what it was all about, but told himself that he didn’t really care. At this point, though, it was getting really difficult to lie to himself about it. 

Jaskier broke the silence gravely. “We shouldn’t tell Eskel what happened, because he would be embarrassed.” 

Ah, the kid was going to help him avoid responsibili- what? Geralt frowned more deeply at the kid. “What?” 

Jaskier gave him an annoyed glare (what was that about??). “We shouldn’t tell Eskel because he would be embarrassed. I don’t want him to feel bad, so let’s not tell him, okay?” 

“No, that’s- Jaskier. Why would Eskel be embarrassed?” 

Jaskier’s stern demeanor faded into one of Jaskier’s normal expressions, but with no small amount of anxiety. “Well… Some bad nobleman took me and threatened to hurt me. Eskel stopped fighting and gave up, because he was afraid I would be hurt.” Jaskier’s gaze grew distant. “He and his men hurt Eskel really bad.” 

Geralt’s mind ran with the information, filling in what he could imagine was Eskel’s side to the story. Mainly the feelings witchers were not supposed to have. One emotion Eskel probably wouldn’t have is shame, though. Eskel was too secure in himself to allow himself to feel embarrassed or ashamed for what happened, especially when someone clearly took advantage of and threatened the life of a child- a child that Eskel had adopted and was raising like his own child. 

Geralt wanted to ask how Jaskier and Eskel escaped, but Jaskier continued sternly. “I don’t want Eskel to worry that I think you’re cooler than him because you beat up those men even though they were going to take and hurt me.” 

The boy seemed to have missed a nuance in there somewhere, because clearly the two situations were completely different. Clearly Eskel was the original target and the battle had already been lost before he could safely retrieve Jaskier. The nobleman would have been willing to actually harm Jaskier and would not have been sufficiently frightened of Eskel’s witcher abilities. Eskel did the only thing he could do, aside from abandon the kid altogether, but Eskel (and Geralt) would never do that. Ever. 

So, the situations were completely different. Geralt had been able to dissuade those men through a show of force to scare them, through intimidation tactics, and the blessed mask of anger to hide that he was afraid for Jaskier at all. The men were also just common thugs looking for a quick buck and not willing to die over the price Jaskier could have possibly brought them if they succeeded. 

“That’s why you were so worried about Eskel last night? Someone took you and used you to hurt him?” 

Jaskier’s eyes were wet. “Y-yeah. I don’t wanna talk about it.” 

Not talking about it was something Geralt could always get behind, but…. Maybe they should talk about it anyway? Neither of them would enjoy it, but obviously Jaskier was still afraid after what happened. Geralt was starting to understand what the likely source of the nightmares Jaskier had had the first few nights they were together was. But Jaskier was not interested in talking about that topic a moment longer, because he finished putting his things away and brought the bag to Geralt. 

Then, he started to talk, talk, talk. But this talking was different from the kid’s usual ramblings. These rambles were designed to distract as the boy tried to outrun the scary memories. Geralt helped the child climb up onto Roach’s back and listened passively, trying not to worry about Jaskier. Sure enough, his patience was rewarded. The kid’s anxious ramblings gave way to more relaxed ones- the normal ones where the kid chirped and giggled about the pretty flowers or some funny thing he had seen or done with Eskel. 

The day wore on and Geralt would be lying if he said he wasn’t starting to get annoyed by Jaskier’s constant chatter, but he kept his mouth shut. Eskel would be pissed at him if he took Jaskier back and the kid told him how mean Geralt had been to him. That was absolutely the only reason why Geralt didn’t get snippy or yell at the kid. The only reason. Yeah. It wasn’t that he was worried about hurting Jaskier’s feelings at all. (This really was becoming pointless, Geralt sighed to himself.) 

“Geralt?” Jaskier addressed him more directly- a habit the boy had that Geralt appreciated, because it let him know when the kid really expected a response and when he would be fine with just filling the air with sound by himself. 

Geralt sighed and hummed to acknowledge him. 

“Is there a river nearby?” 

Geralt looked around and sniffed. “Somewhat.” 

“Can we go there?” 

Geralt frowned at the back of the kid’s head. “Why?” 

“I feel all icky and grimy. I wanna take a bath! Can we go?” 

Geralt frowned. The boy wasn’t all that dirty and Geralt had wiped the blood off himself and his sword last night. Oh. That’s right: Jaskier was finicky about getting dirty in general. Eskel mentioned that. Honestly, Eskel pampered the kid too much. They were traveling the Path, not taking a vacation. Jaskier would need to get used to not having the kinds of luxuries that he was used to as a nobleman’s son. 

“Geralt?” 

“Fine.” He wasn’t ready to argue with Jaskier about it; if he remembered correctly, Eskel said that cleanliness was one of the few things that Jaskier got hard headed about anyway. It wasn’t worth an argument and he might have, maybe, wanted to keep the kid happy. A little. 

Jaskier whooped excitedly. “Thank you, Geralt!” 

It didn’t take long for them to find the river. Geralt stopped Roach next to a tree on the riverbank and dismounted, helping Jaskier off after. Jaskier vibrated with excited energy as he pulled his pack off Roach’s back. 

“Are you going to take a bath, too?” Jaskier asked as he pulled out a change of clothes and some floral smelling soap. It smelled kind of nice, but Geralt didn’t acknowledge that. 

“I might as well.” They were stopped anyway and it would be nice to get some of the grime off of him. And Geralt also liked baths, though he usually preferred the heated kind in a decent inn with doors and privacy. 

“Great!” Jaskier chirped, stripped, and jumped into the river joyfully. 

Geralt took his time removing his armor, clothes, and boots. He waded into the cool water and it felt glorious against his skin in the mid-summer heat. He dunked his head underwater to wet his hair and ran his fingers through it when he reemerged. Jaskier splashed around for a bit before he started his ablutions. The boy waded back to shore and bent over to pick up his soap and a cloth.

Geralt heard the child’s heart skip a beat and he looked around for any threat. There wasn’t a threat that he could see. He cast about with his senses, but the only thing of note that he noticed was a snake. Wait. A snake? 

Geralt started wading over to Jaskier quickly, noting that the child had frozen in place, hand wrapped around the bar of soap, but not lifting it. “Jaskier?” Jaskier started to open his mouth to answer, but clicked his mouth shut immediately after. Obviously Jaskier had managed to find the only snake nearby. Because of course he did. 

Jaskier’s heart had started pounding moments ago, but Geralt sensed a change that alerted him to what was about to happen. Jaskier’s breath caught in his throat and he jerked away just as a snake lunged at his arm- Jaskier was smart enough to know to keep still to avoid startling the animal, so it was going to lunge regardless. The kid wasn’t fast enough. The snake’s fangs sunk into Jaskier’s hand and clung there. 

Jaskier screamed. Geralt splashed to Jaskier’s side and grabbed the snake by the neck and pried its mouth open to force it to release Jaskier’s hand. Jaskier whimpered as the fangs pulled out and held his hand against his chest as if that would make it hurt less. Geralt grabbed a knife and killed the snake before he took a closer look at it. It was definitely venomous. Damn. 

“Jaskier, are you alright?” 

Jaskier shook his head frantically. “My hand- it hurt at first, but now it feels weird! Geralt, am I going to die?” The kid looked up at Geralt with wide, terrified eyes. 

“No. You’re going to be fine. We just have to get to a healer right away. Get dressed. Quickly!” Geralt instructed and Jaskier did as he was told, sniffling and favoring his injured hand. He put his things away while Geralt dressed. 

Geralt quickly donned his own clothes and armor. He had witcher potions he could have used for himself, but they would kill Jaskier before they could even start to help him with the venom. He grabbed the boy and rushed him over to Roach, who seemed unsettled. Geralt looked around to make sure there were no other snakes near enough to bite him or his horse. There were no additional snakes. 

Geralt quickly wrapped Jaskier’s bleeding hand in a cloth and tied it to stop the bleeding. Then, he mounted Roach behind the child and galloped off. Jaskier sniffled and whimpered, but was clearly trying to hide how much pain he was in. He held his injured hand against his chest and clung to Roach with his good hand. Geralt listened closely to Jaskier’s heartbeat and breathing, monitoring them both for any change. 

“I don’t feel good, Geralt.” Jaskier mumbled. Geralt knew that already, but he didn’t say anything. 

Jaskier’s body language told Geralt all about the pain and fear Jaskier was feeling. Geralt’s senses picked up the child’s rising temperature and he could hear the way his little heart thundered against his chest. 

“My hand is numb,” Jaskier continued. 

“Calm down. You’re going to be fine.” Geralt grunted, urging Roach to run faster. 

Jaskier started to cry. Geralt’s chest tightened with panic. What could he do? Sucking the poison out of a bite was just an old wives’ tale. It wouldn’t do any good! He had nothing he could give the kid for the pain or the venom that wouldn’t kill him. He settled for hugging Jaskier close to his chest with one arm and holding the reins for Roach with his free hand. 

Had he just accidentally killed Eskel’s kid? By not noticing a simple snake?! 

Jaskier sagged against Geralt’s chest and sighed. It was getting worse. The boy was starting to wheeze softly and his injured hand brushed against Geralt’s hand. It was hot and inflamed. He could feel it through the bandages with his witcher senses. 

“You’re going to be fine, Jaskier. We’re almost there.” 

Jaskier hummed to acknowledge Geralt’s words and wow, was that what Geralt sounded like when people were trying to talk to him? Roach thundered down the dirt road and into a bustling village. Geralt looked around frantically, but he couldn’t tell which house belonged to the healer or an herbalist. 

“I need a healer!” Geralt bellowed, startling some livestock and their handlers which were closest to them. 

A young man pointed toward a house to Geralt’s right and the witcher guided Roach over to it. He jumped off of Roach’s back and pulled Jaskier off as gently as possible. He hugged the boy against his chest and tried to ignore the fluttering of his own frightened heart. The wheezing was worrisome. Even witchers needed to breathe. 

Geralt burst into the healer’s house without knocking. The cottage was quaint and comfortable. There were bookshelves with quite a few tomes, presumably medical ones. There were glass vials and bottles on little racks. Some were filled with liquids of varying colors and others were empty. In the back of the main room by the windows, a young man was leaning over a little girl. 

“Who- Another one?” The young man sounded tired and annoyed, but he motioned for Geralt to bring Jaskier closer. 

“Another one?” Geralt repeated. 

“Is it a snake bite?” The man ignored Geralt’s question in favor of asking his own.. 

“Yes.” 

Apparently it was a problem, given the way the young man cursed. Geralt tried to remember if he noticed anything that implied there was a particularly large infestation of snakes in the area near where they were, but he couldn’t remember anything unusual. Was he so distracted by Jaskier that he hadn’t been paying enough attention to notice something like that?

“Put him there!” The young man ordered, rushing over to the shelves and racks of vials and bottles as he gestured to a soft looking lounging chair. 

The little girl watched them quietly and Geralt felt more out of his element than he had ever felt before this. Jaskier waved at the girl despite how terrible he felt. It seemed like a very Jaskier thing to do. How could the kid stay so friendly when he was possibly actually dying? Or did he not believe it was that bad because he trusted Geralt so much? He really should not trust Geralt so much. Geralt no longer trusted himself in the least. He couldn’t protect the kid from a damned snake of all things! A snake! Him! A monster hunter who could not protect a nine-year old child from a single, normal, measly snake! 

The young man was back and kneeling next to Jaskier and holding a small bottle up to his lips. Geralt started to object, to ask what the substance was, what it would do, and a million other questions before he remembered that this guy, who was little more than a kid in the big picture of things, was a healer and apparently had experience with this sort of injury. He clamped his mouth shut and watched Jaskier obediently drink the potion, but not without glancing at Geralt from the corner of his eye. What had Eskel told this kid to expect from him?! 

As the young healer began to unwrap the bandage, Jaskier’s soft wheezing had already started to abate and turn back into closer-to-normal breaths. Geralt’s suspicions about the inflammation in the hand earlier were accurate. Jaskier’s hand was inflamed and red around the angry puncture marks the snake had left. The healer carefully cleaned the wound and bandaged it. 

“It wasn’t as bad as it could have been,” the healer stated, checking Jaskier’s pulse. “You acted very quickly. Inaction, or slow action has killed several of my neighbors.” He gestured toward the front door. 

The young man glanced at his ingredient shelf and the empty bottles on his rack. There were a few more bottles with the same color anti-venom as the one he had given to Jaskier, but there weren’t many. Geralt placed a hand on Jaskier’s head, earning a bemused glance from the child, but he ignored it. The action helped ground him in the moment as Jaskier’s temperature continued to cool and his breathing normalized. 

“This has been a problem lately, then?” Geralt prompted. “Where are the snakes coming from?” 

“There’s a nest to the southeast of the village, near the river, but some of the snakes have been spotted to the southwest and to the east of here.” The healer answered, turning back to the little girl. “Some of the men have gone to check out the nest, but none of them have been able to get close enough to do anything about it without being bitten themselves. Most of the victims have been children playing alone in the woods or by the river.” 

The young man looked up at Geralt, appearing to be sizing him up. “You’re a witcher.” Obviously. “The venom won’t affect you as much if you get bitten. The snakes are just snakes, not monsters, but I will pay you to kill them and get rid of the nest. And no charge for his treatment, either. It’s a big problem.” 

Geralt felt Jaskier’s eyes on him, waiting expectantly for his response. Was Jaskier now convinced that Geralt was some sort of hero? That was ridiculous! He was a monster that hunted other monsters! Monsters couldn’t be heroes! 

“I’ll do it. I can’t bring him with me, though. Do you mind if I leave him here with you while I’m gone?” Geralt didn’t have to look at Jaskier to feel the adoration coming off him in waves. It felt wrong and misplaced. 

“Thank you, Master Witcher,” the healer said. “I’ll keep him for you. He will need more rest anyway.” He turned to Jaskier. “Try to get some sleep. You need it.”   
Jaskier’s confidence and trust turned into panic. “But- Geralt, don’t leave me!” 

“You need to rest!” The healer pressed a gentle hand against Jaskier’s shoulder to hold him down and the kid was about to snap. 

“Jaskier,” Geralt knelt down next to him. “I am not going to leave without you. We have to meet Eskel, right?” He paused. “It’s too dangerous for you to go to the snake nest with me. It’s just like any other hunt. I know Eskel doesn’t bring you along on most of those. It’s the same thing.” 

Jaskier sagged against the little sofa, too tired to fight against the healer’s firm hand. “But-” 

“I’ll be back, Jaskier.” He paused, looking at the unshed tears in Jaskier’s eyes. “I promise. And we’ll get a room in the inn or something and take turns taking nice, warm baths.” He paused, uncertain and very aware of the healer’s gaze on him. “Uh. We can get something… Sweet or something to eat when I get back.” 

Jaskier nodded, but he didn’t seem all that excited about the sweet treat. The healer brought a thin blanket, which he draped over Jaskier. Geralt had an idea. He wasn’t sure it would work, but… It would probably work? He had seen Jaskier do this himself several times now. Geralt rushed out of the house and went to Roach. He patted her neck affectionately and then dug around in Jaskier’s pack before he rushed back inside. 

“Hey, uh. Will this help?” Geralt held the stuffed dog out for Jaskier to take. 

Jaskier’s eyes widened and then he took it. The boy wrapped his arms around it tightly and nodded with a soft sniffle. He did seem calmer now that he had the toy. It eased Geralt’s worries. 

Geralt hesitated a moment before turning to leave. Jaskier waved at him as Geralt marched toward the door. He heard the healer’s footsteps following behind him and Geralt stopped at the door to face the young man. 

“You are very good with him, master witcher.” The healer said. “He is not your child, though, is he? To my knowledge, witchers cannot reproduce.” 

“He isn’t. But my brother- another witcher- took him in. I’m watching him for a little while while my brother is taking care of something.” 

The healer nodded his understanding. “I thank you for your assistance. I will do what I can to keep him calm and comfortable until you return.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geralt gets a reward. Jaskier gets a bruise. A bunch of guys end up dead. Geralt suppresses his feelings as Jaskier winds up in danger (again).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More gratuitous Jaskier-endangerment incoming.

The snake problem was, as expected, easy to resolve. Igni and a well-placed bomb eliminated the bulk of the snakes and destroyed their nest. There would still be some snakes slithering around, because they were probably not all at the nest when Geralt found it, but it would be better than it was. The snakes would be more manageable for the villagers and that was all that mattered. 

When he arrived at the healer’s house, Geralt heard Jaskier’s melodious laughter and felt his chest warm unexpectedly. He heard a little girl laughing with Jaskier and assumed it was the little girl that had been in the cottage earlier. They both sounded like they were enjoying themselves and feeling better. Geralt politely knocked before letting himself in the healer’s cottage. 

“Geralt!” Jaskier cheered, starting to jump up. 

“Sit down,” Geralt insisted firmly. 

Jaskier pouted and leaned back against the back of the chair. Geralt’s lips twitched with amusement. The little girl giggled and Jaskier’s cheeks turned pink. 

“How are you feeling?” Geralt asked as he approached Jaskier. 

“Lots better! My hand doesn’t hurt and it’s not numb and I don’t have a tummy ache anymore! Did you kill all the snakes?” 

“Yes. Well, all of the snakes that were at the nest and the nest is destroyed, so they shouldn’t be as bad of a problem as they were before.” He looked around.   
“Where is the healer?” 

“Quinn is in the backyard picking herbs.” The little girl answered, looking like she was feeling much better herself. “He’s always making medicines and gardening.” 

“Thank you.” Geralt replied. “I’ll be right back, Jaskier. Don’t run around until the healer says you’re well enough.” 

“Okaaaay.” 

The healer was picking herbs from his garden as the little girl said when Geralt stepped through the back door into the yard. The man didn’t look up from what he was doing and Geralt wondered if he didn’t hear Geralt come outside or if he was too busy to care. 

“The snake nest is dealt with.” Geralt announced. “How is Jaskier? When can he travel?” 

Quinn looked up, relief evident on his face. “Thank you, Master Witcher! Jaskier is much better. As I said before, you got him here very quickly, so his condition isn’t nearly as bad as Sophia’s was when her parents brought her in.” Sophia must have been the little girl, Geralt thought. “Jaskier is well enough to travel now, but I would recommend that you take it slow and take more frequent breaks than you otherwise might.” 

Geralt nodded. Jaskier was going to be absolutely fine and the damage hadn’t been bad at all. He was relieved. They could travel now if they wanted, but maybe it would be best to stay in the inn for the night so Jaskier could rest a bit more before they left for the next town. 

The healer stood up, basket in hand. “If you come inside, I’ll get your compensation for your work.” 

Geralt followed Quinn back into the cottage and stood next to Jaskier, who was chittering on the sofa about some nonsense or another with Sophia. She was looking better than she had when Geralt and Jaskier had arrived, and now that he took the time to pay attention to her, he could tell she had had it really bad.   
She still looked pale and tired while the color had all returned to Jaskier’s cheeks. 

Quinn stepped into a side room- a bedroom, perhaps?- and rustled about in there for a few minutes. Geralt waited patiently. They still had a few weeks to get to Kaer Morhen at a comfortable pace. There was no need to rush. 

Quinn returned to the main room carrying a small, but full coin purse. It was small, but would hold a fairly substantial amount of gold. Nothing extravagant, but a decent amount. No doubt the healer was going to pay him from his savings- not an unusual thing. 

The healer held out the pouch for Geralt to take and Geralt stared at him blankly. The healer frowned at him and shook the bag a little to get him to take it. Geralt reluctantly lifted his hand and took the pouch. 

“This is-” Geralt began. 

“Payment.” The healer stated, looking a bit troubled. “I understand if it is not enough, but it is all I can afford to give you and is most of my current funds.” 

“That’s not-” Geralt said. “This is too much. All I did was kill some snakes. They weren’t monsters. It was an easy task.” 

The healer looked relieved. “Oh, I see! Well, you have more than earned this sum, Master Witcher. You’ve saved many of the children of this community a lot of pain and trauma- and their parents, too, by extension. And in the long run, you will have saved us all money and me valuable ingredients that I will need to start stocking up on essential medicines and potions for the winter, without which many would die. Please take it.” 

Geralt would not argue about it. The healer wanted to give him this much money, then he would take it. It would make his (and Jaskier’s) life more comfortable on their trip to Kaer Morhen for the surprise party and he would be able to replenish his own stocks of potions and ingredients to boot. 

“Jaskier.” 

Jaskier stopped mid sentence and looked up at him curiously. 

“Time to go.” 

Jaskier glanced at his new friend and gave her a sweet smile. “Bye, Sophia!” 

“Thank you for keeping me company, Jaskier.” Sophia returned the smile. “I hope we can play together one day, when you and your father come through here again.” 

Geralt felt his shoulders stiffen at the misunderstanding, but Jaskier didn’t correct her. His cheeks and the tips of his ears had turned pink. He plucked up Dandelion and muttered something about looking forward to that. Geralt wondered how Eskel would feel about Jaskier’s little crush. 

Once the door to the healer’s cottage closed, Jaskier started bouncing. “Where are we going next, Geralt?” 

For a kid that just had a near death experience, Jaskier was awfully bubbly, Geralt thought. He grunted at the boy and walked to where he had tethered Roach. Jaskier bounced along behind him. 

“Shouldn’t you be taking it easy?” Geralt sighed. 

“But all I did was sit around and do nothing but talk the whole time you were gone and Mr. Quinn said that I wasn’t that sick! And I’m glad you’re back and you’re so cool, Geralt!” 

Geralt, being unused to such praise and affection, didn’t know how to react or what to say, so he said nothing at all. He simply ushered the boy to the inn. 

“Hey, Geralt?” Geralt grunted in acknowledgement. “Are we staying here tonight?” 

“Might as well. Promised you a bath and pie.” 

“We’re really going to stay and have a bath and pie?!” Jaskier was ecstatic. 

“Mhm.” 

Geralt let Jaskier go first. He regretted it a bit, though, because, frankly, the scent of the boy’s smelly soap was overwhelming to his witcher senses. He wondered how Eskel was able to survive traveling with the kid if he always bathed with this much smelly stuff. Jaskier seemed happy as a clam, though, so Geralt didn’t complain. 

Jaskier quietly read from a book while Geralt bathed and Geralt found that he appreciated it. It seemed like a natural behavior for Jaskier. Did he find a way to occupy himself quietly when Eskel bathed to give the witcher a chance to breathe or was this just for Geralt, who was unused to so much conversation for such a prolonged period of time? Regardless of the reason, Geralt was grateful and felt a new warmth fill his chest at the thought of the boy respecting his and Eskel’s needs and trying to meet them just as hard as they tried to meet his. 

Geralt climbed out of the tub and began toweling off. “What are you reading?” 

Jaskier gave him a confused, somewhat startled look. “Huh?” 

“What are you reading?” Geralt repeated, trying not to sound annoyed. 

“It’s a book about “The Great Cleansing,” Jaskier answered. “Vesemir let me borrow it. Eskel wanted me to read it, because I need to learn history.” 

Geralt frowned. Was Jaskier old enough to be reading about that? Apparently he was or Eskel wouldn’t let him read it, probably. Eskel seemed to have a good grasp on what was and wasn’t appropriate for Jaskier to read or see. 

“What have you learned?” Geralt prompted as he dressed. 

“Humans took advantage of the elves and then tried to kill them all.” Jaskier answered. “Now elves have to hide from humans so they can survive.” 

“Sounds about right.” 

Jaskier didn’t say anything else. He looked back down at the tome in his hand, but Geralt wasn’t sure if he was reading it or just staring at it now. Geralt brushed his hair silently and Jaskier didn’t try to make conversation. 

“Why don’t you read something else for a while?” Geralt suggested, noting the frown that had formed on Jaskier’s face. 

“This is the only book I have with me. Eskel has a couple of other books in Scorpion’s saddlebags, but I didn’t have enough room in my pack for more than this one.” 

“Let’s head downstairs for dinner and pie.” Geralt suggested, taking and closing the book. 

Jaskier nodded and followed along behind him as Geralt left the room and locked it behind them. Jaskier’s mood improved when a bard started performing for the crowd and even Geralt could see the way that Jaskier’s eyes lit up as the woman sang. Eskel was right; a lute would probably be a great gift for the kid. 

They went to bed some time later. Jaskier held Dandelion close against his chest and Geralt slept next to them on the floor. The witcher awoke early and quickly dressed. He would head to the little general store and see what he could find. Geralt had an idea, but he wasn’t sure if he was comfortable with following through on it. 

The lady behind the counter was friendly, but clearly hadn’t had much experience with witchers. She seemed nervous, but Geralt ignored that. He perused the wares around the shop and tried not to look frustrated when he was having trouble finding what he was looking for. Most of the stuff in here was traveling supplies and other general goods that the village might need on a daily basis. None of it was what Geralt was looking for! 

He glanced at the woman, who looked back at him curiously, and walked to the counter with a sigh. “I’m looking for a book.” 

“A book, Master Witcher?” The woman repeated. “I fear I haven’t any books about monsters or the like.” 

“I don’t need a book about monsters. I need a book a kid would read.” 

The woman looked more confused than before. “Why?” 

Geralt’s subtle frown turned into a snarl. “Does it matter?” 

“N-no, sir!” The woman answered. “But, erm, I don’t have many books to choose from. Here.” She motioned for him to step behind the counter and to follow her into the back room. 

Geralt felt tension forming in his shoulders as he followed her. For some reason, he felt unsafe and exposed, even though he could easily snap the woman in half like a twig. She opened a trunk and pulled out a few tattered books that had clearly seen better days. 

“I don’t generally carry books, Master Witcher, but I have taken a few in the past as payment for other goods.” She held them out to him for him to look them over. “These are the only books I have that would be good for children.” 

Geralt looked over each book’s title and covers carefully. One was about fairy tales, another was about mythical heroes, and another was a book of children’s songs, rhymes, and riddles. He considered the children’s songbook longer than the book about mythical heroes, but decided that the song and riddle book was too childish and young for a child of Jaskier’s age and intellect. That left the fairy tales. They were works of fiction and stories passed down for generations by humans to teach their children morals and things to avoid in life. But many such tales often depicted elves, magicians, and some monsters in a kinder light than the stories humans might usually tell each other. 

“I’ll take this one.” 

When Geralt returned to the inn, he automatically started listening for Jaskier’s humming or prancing around the room or even his soft breathing. When he reached the stairs, Geralt realized that he couldn’t hear Jaskier in their room at all. He couldn’t smell the boy downstairs in the tavern, either, so he hadn’t come down to eat a meal. Panic filled his chest unexpectedly and Geralt ran up the stairs. 

Jaskier was not in their room. The window was open. Their things were untouched, except for the bed. The blankets had been dragged off the bed and were laying on the floor. Dandelion had fallen off the bed with the blankets. Jaskier’s shoes were still waiting where he had left them last night after dinner. 

Where was Jaskier?! 

Geralt reached out with his senses, trying to get a handle on his emotions as he tried to pick up a clue as to what had become of the boy in his care. Obviously whoever took him- the boy wouldn’t have climbed out the window in his smallclothes or without his shoes- exited with him through the window. Had Jaskier fought back? Did no one in the establishment hear him scream for help? Had he been unable to scream? 

Small feet pounded up the stairs and, at first, Geralt thought it was Jaskier. But that was silly; Jaskier didn’t wear shoes with little heels that clipped sharply on the wooden floorboards. A girl burst into the room behind Geralt in a panic. It was the girl from the healer’s house. Her cheeks were stained with tears and she gasped for breath desperately once she slid to a stop in front of Geralt. 

“Wh-” 

“Somebody hurt Mister Quinn!” The girl exclaimed. “They were asking questions about- about a witcher with a boy! Mister Quinn wouldn’t tell them anything, but they hurt him bad and- and-!” The girl sobbed. “I told them you were here, Mister Witcher! They said they wouldn’t hurt Mister Quinn any more if I told them, but then they killed him any-anyway!” 

This was too much to take in at once, even for Geralt. Jaskier was gone, some group of humans, presumably, had tortured and then killed the kindly healer, and they were looking specifically for a witcher traveling with a kid. There weren’t many of those. Not good. 

“Did you see if they took Jaskier?” Geralt asked urgently. 

The girl nodded. “I’m sorry!” 

Geralt ignored her apology. “Which way did they go?” 

“N-north, on the path out of town.” 

It was still early and most of the villagers hadn’t gone out for the day yet, so it wasn’t so very surprising that no one had sounded some sort of alarm about Jaskier. Had whoever it was been watching and waiting for Geralt to leave Jaskier alone? They must have been, because it would be foolish to try to abduct a child from a witcher’s protection. 

Geralt threw everything into their packs haphazardly as the girl watched. “Thank you. Go home to your parents. Tell them what happened to the healer.” He instructed her as he rushed out of the room. Geralt rushed down to the stables and retrieved Roach. He mounted her and they thundered out of the village at a brisk pace, following the road the girl had said she had seen the kidnappers take. 

He sniffed the air, following Jaskier’s scent as he rode. Whoever it was had been traveling at a brisk pace themselves. Clearly they wanted to put as much distance between themselves and Geralt as possible. A wise choice, but damned if Geralt wouldn’t catch up! 

He heard the twang of a bowstring just a moment too late. An arrow pierced his shoulder through a weak part of his armor and knocked him off Roach’s back. His head landed sharply on a rock and everything went black. 

When his vision returned, the world spun and each breath jostled the arrow in his shoulder. He rolled over and tried to stand, but the world spun harder and he lurched forward onto his hands and knees. Was the arrowhead poisoned? It wouldn’t kill him, but it would slow him down, for sure. 

Why the hell was this kid so much trouble? Did other human children get abducted or assaulted this regularly or was it really just because he traveled with witchers? It seemed so unfair for such a sweet kid- 

Geralt groaned and pushed himself up to his feet. This was not the time to let his mind wander, especially not into emotional territory. He crossed the short distance between himself and Roach, holding his throbbing head as he walked. The witcher rummaged in his pack, wishing that the world would stop swaying long enough for him to get his hands on some white honey. 

He popped the cork off the bottle and gulped it down. He waited impatiently for the effects of the poison to fade. As he waited, he noticed just how much time he had lost. The sun was now higher in the sky. Had he been unconscious for hours? 

Geralt led Roach out of the road and set about removing the arrow in his shoulder- it was a particularly unpleasant task, seeing as his shoulder had healed around the damn thing, but he pushed through it as always. He tossed the arrowhead aside and mounted Roach again. 

Jaskier’s scent was all but gone now, but his abductors had still left a trail for Geralt to follow. He rode more carefully than before, not wanting to run headfirst into another poisoned arrow this time. Jaskier needed him to be on his toes. 

The group avoided towns and villages altogether. It seemed that they had a goal in mind. Someone wanted Jaskier badly and these men were in a hurry to get him where they wanted him. They weren’t trying to hide their trail at all; they probably thought they killed Geralt with that arrow and were just in a hurry to get paid. But who wanted the kid in the first place? Why did they want him? Geralt couldn’t figure it out. Had Eskel made that many enemies? Had Geralt made enough enemies that they would have followed him long enough to see him take in a kid and then formulate a plan to take said kid? Nothing made sense!   
Jaskier was probably terrified and that made Geralt angry. It was cruel to hurt a child anyway, but Jaskier was… Geralt stopped himself there. He couldn’t afford to be attached. He couldn’t afford to care about Jaskier the child. He had to treat Jaskier like a contract now, or he would find himself endangering Jaskier and himself with emotions too strong for himself to manage. 

The sun was sinking beneath the horizon now and his quarry had not stopped. He would have to stop and let Roach rest eventually or they wouldn’t catch up to Jaskier and his abductors before they got to wherever they were going. He pushed the horse just a bit longer, though, mumbling apologies to her as she galloped down the road in the dimming light. 

When Geralt began to resign himself to the realization that he would not find Jaskier tonight, he noticed a change in the trail he was following in the darkness. Their pace had slowed and the tracks were fresher. Geralt forced himself to approach carefully, dismounting and creeping forward.   
Finally, he saw the light of a campfire in the distance. He drew closer, holding his steel sword in one hand as he crept along. He had to be calculated and careful. Jaskier would be in danger if they felt threatened and Geralt wasn’t positive he would be able to protect the child if things got nasty. He heard a couple of them talking where they were standing watch at the edge of the campsite. 

“...How much do you think the Viscount will pay for his son back, Rem?” 

“The reward signs promise a pretty penny to anyone who rescues his son from the witcher. I imagine he’ll pay double that if we threaten the brat.” 

“The witcher- Mary said the witcher that took the kid was a brunette.” 

“So?” 

“What if it’s the wrong boy?” 

“Then the viscount gets the wrong boy and we take our gold and leave. It doesn’t matter if it’s the right kid. He just has to think we have his kid.” 

Geralt frowned. It had been two years and the Viscount that beat his son apparently still really wanted his punching bag back. It was ridiculous and petty. What would he even do with Jaskier now? Would he pretend that everything was normal or would he just kill him? 

Geralt kept an ear on the pair quietly talking at the edge of the camp as he crept past them to see if he could locate Jaskier. They didn’t notice him, as Geralt had expected. They were doing a terrible job of keeping watch. They weren’t being careful, because they considered the job of kidnapping and ransoming this kid as good as finished. It would be their final mistake, but first he had to locate Jaskier. 

His golden eyes scanned the camp. There were five more men doing various evening activities around the camp. One was tending to the horses, another was cooking some sort of stew over the fire, and the others were tending to their weapons or whittling. Near the fire, Geralt saw his prize. 

Jaskier was laying limply on the hard ground with his hands tied behind his back. His ankles were similarly bound. The knots were quick and simple, guaranteed to hold without requiring much time, effort, or skill. Geralt reached out with his senses, focusing on Jaskier’s steady breathing and too-slow heartbeat. Drugging him seemed like overkill, but it would keep him quiet when he otherwise would fight and shout and make noise, so Geralt could understand why they chose to do it. Geralt turned his attention back to the men standing watch. There would be no mercy tonight. 

The first died with little more than a startled gurgle, but the second managed to yelp in terror before Geralt silenced him permanently. The witcher ducked back into the shadows and waited for the others to come investigate. The men attending to their weapons came first. Geralt beheaded them both with two fluid strikes. 

The fourth man raised an alarm before Geralt could end him and scampered back into camp, screaming about the witcher being alive and back for the kid. Panic filled the air and Geralt took advantage of it. The remaining trio of men faced him with swords drawn and one had plucked Jaskier up off the ground and was holding him tightly against his chest. Jaskier didn’t make a peep. He didn’t even stir- had they killed him accidentally? 

“Fuck, how did you-” The man holding Jaskier exclaimed. 

“I’m a witcher.” 

Geralt made no further attempt at conversation, lunging at the pair of men standing between him and Jaskier and the man holding the kid. Steel crashed against steel with a loud clang. Geralt pressed his sword down, which forced his opponent to lower his against his will. Geralt kicked the man in the face and then beheaded him. 

The second to last man lunged at him instead of waiting and being eviscerated. He managed to get in a lucky swipe with his sword before Geralt cut his arm off at the elbow and then stabbed the man in the chest. 

“Back off, witcher!” 

The last man sounded terrified; terror was a double edged sword. It could work in Geralt’s favor or result in the man murdering Jaskier in a panic. He had to be careful. 

“Only a coward uses a child as a shield. Put him down and face me.” Geralt challenged, but the man shook his head and took a step back. 

“This coward wants to live, witcher. I won’t be fighting you at all.” 

“If you wanted to live, you shouldn’t have taken a witcher’s son.” 

The man scoffed. “You’re not his father.” 

“Of course I’m not.” Geralt answered. “But you took him and you murdered an innocent man to get to Jaskier. I’m not in the business of forgiveness.” 

“Get back!” The man ordered, but Geralt ignored him. 

Before the kidnapper could harm Jaskier- it was too close of a call for Geralt to feel remotely comfortable with, though- Geralt dispatched him. Before the body hit the ground, Geralt pulled Jaskier out of the man’s arms and hugged him against his chest with one arm. 

Jaskier sighed softly against Geralt’s chest and Geralt felt the boy nuzzling up against his shoulder through the armor. He put his sword down and gently lowered Jaskier to the ground beside the fire. With a gentleness Geralt hadn’t realized he had, he untied the ten-year-old’s wrists and ankles and massaged them. Jaskier was still out cold, which gave Geralt time to deal with the bodies and maybe to bring Roach closer. He hesitated a moment, though, before he left Jaskier alone to deal with the dead. He draped his cloak over Jaskier’s body and tucked him into it to warm the boy’s cool skin. It wasn’t an especially cold evening, but being only in his smallclothes had to be cooler than would be acceptable with no other protection against the elements, Geralt reasoned. Then, he dealt with the dead and cleaned the camp as well as he could. He brought Roach closer, too, and managed to do all of this before Jaskier awoke. Geralt settled down into a kneeling position and began to meditate, waiting for Jaskier to wake up from his drug-induced sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There has been a terrible misunderstanding and Geralt doesn't know how to fix it. Unfortunately, all he does is make it so much worse.

The following morning, Jaskier’s hoarse voice broke through the silence of Geralt’s meditation and the witcher opened his eyes immediately to look at him. 

“Geralt? What happened?” 

Geralt grunted. “Doesn’t matter. You’re safe now. Do you feel sick?” 

Jaskier nodded, frowning as he gingerly sat up. “I think I’m going to throw up…” The boy mumbled. “And my arm hurts.” He rubbed the arm in question gently with his other hand. 

Geralt hummed and reached out to look at Jaskier’s arm. There was a nasty looking bruise there, probably from when they had grabbed him in the first place. Geralt handed Jaskier a waterskin and Jaskier quietly sipped from it. Jaskier looked groggy and confused. Geralt tried not to worry about it. 

“Can I sleep some more, Geralt?” 

“You should drink more first.” Geralt grunted. 

“Are you going to leave me?” 

“What?” What gave Jaskier that idea? 

“You don’t dislike me, you said. You don’t really want me around, though, because you don’t like me.” Jaskier emphasized foggily. 

“Jaskier-” 

“It’s okay, Geralt. My dad doesn’t like me, either. But you’re better, because you don’t usually hit me or scream at me. And you take care of me even though you don’t want to. You’re good. I’m sure it will be okay if you left me in a town and told Eskel where to find me.” 

Geralt grew more and more horrified with each word Jaskier spoke. The words were clear and unambiguous. Jaskier thought he was unlovable and that Geralt’s icy behavior was normal. But it wasn’t normal. It was just Geralt being stubborn and fearful of attachments and commitments. But wait, what was that about usually not hitting him? Geralt had never ever hit him and would never-!

Jaskier sagged against Geralt’s arm, putting the waterskin down. “I won’t make any more noise, Geralt. Just don’t give me any more of that stuff, please?”   
Jaskier thought-?! Jaskier thought Geralt had drugged him? Did he think Geralt had hurt him and was-? 

“Jaskier,” Geralt didn’t intend to sound angry, but he did and he flinched when Jaskier flinched. “Jaskier, what do you think happened?” 

Jaskier whimpered. “I- I don’t want… I don’t know what I did… Please just leave me at an inn; Eskel will pay you back for the room and I can work for my food until he comes to get me.” 

Geralt jolted, grabbing Jaskier and pulling him around in front of him. “Jaskier.” 

“Please don’t, Geralt!” Jaskier begged. “I’m sorry; I don’t know why you’re angry with me! I didn’t mean to make you- to make you-!” 

Jaskier could hardly sit upright, Geralt noticed belatedly. Whatever they made him drink was ridiculously potent. Was Jaskier’s life endangered by it? It explained the confusion, but still, the words, the things that happened to Jaskier that he thought Geralt did to him… Geralt couldn’t stomach them. 

“Jaskier!” He tried to get the kid to stop rambling slurred apologies for imagined slights and offenses and was successful, but only in that Jaskier flinched and clamped his mouth and eyes shut. “Jaskier, calm down. You’re safe. I won’t hurt you. I’m here to protect you and keep you safe. You’re confused right now. I can explain everything later, when you’re less confused. For now, drink a little more water and… And go back to sleep, okay?” 

“‘Kay,” Jaskier agreed and did as he was told without protest. 

Geralt was torn now. The kid was obviously not okay. But the healer in that village was dead and he really didn’t want to risk drawing someone else into this. It looked like it was time to go back to Kaer Morhen and wait for Eskel there. This whole situation was a really big mistake. He should never have agreed to this! 

When Jaskier awoke a short while later, he seemed steadier. It was a relief to Geralt, who had really begun to worry about him. Jaskier didn’t strike up conversation and Geralt wasn’t sure how to begin. Would Jaskier even believe him if he tried to tell him that he didn’t hurt him? The silence between them thickened. 

“Jaskier, about what happened-” Geralt began. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Jaskier answered quickly. 

“Jas-” 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

Geralt sighed. “Fine. How do you feel?” 

“I’m really hungry.” Jaskier answered and Geralt retrieved some of their jerky and dried fruits for him. 

Jaskier ate quietly. It was disconcerting to see the way that the boy’s entire body had tensed up like a spring. Jaskier was usually so carefree and excited and talkative. It was like Jaskier had become an entirely different person. Geralt silently handed Jaskier a waterskin. 

“Are you alright?” Geralt made another attempt at addressing what had happened with Jaskier the day before. 

“Yes.” Jaskier said, but there was something hollow about his voice that betrayed him. 

“You don’t have to be afraid. I won’t hurt you, Jaskier.” Jaskier glanced at him from the corner of his eye, looking for all the world like a deer about to bolt. “I didn’t hurt you, Jaskier. Some men tried to take you back to your father for the reward money. They drugged you and you’re confused now, but you’re safe. I won’t let anyone else hurt you.” 

Something flickered in Jaskier’s eyes, but Geralt wasn’t sure what it meant. It wasn’t relief, which had been what he had been going for. Was it fear? Probably, but that wasn’t all that there was in his gaze, was it? 

“Okay, Geralt!” Jaskier answered cheerfully and Geralt felt himself flinch in surprise at the boy’s sudden change in tone. 

“Uh. Okay.” That was… easy? “Are you feeling better now that you’ve got some food in your stomach?” 

“Yes.” Jaskier said with an odd sort of stiffness that conflicted with the brightness of his smile. Something was still wrong. Geralt didn’t know what to do. 

Geralt sighed and looked up at the sky with a sigh. What could he even do to fix this? If Jaskier wouldn’t believe him, how could he convince the kid that he meant him no harm? He heard Jaskier rummaging in his pack and assumed he was getting ready to go. 

Geralt looked down at Jaskier when he heard the boy slowly creeping away from him. Jaskier glanced back at him and bolted. Geralt cursed and rushed after him. It took little effort to catch up to Jaskier. He grabbed the child firmly by his arms and forced him to stop running. Jaskier kicked and squirmed, demanding to be put down. 

“Jaskier, what the hell!” 

“Lemme go!” 

“Jaskier, I have to make sure you get back to Eskel in one piece!” 

“You’re hurting me!” Jaskier shouted and Geralt dropped the kid like a hot potato. Now the kid had a second bruise, this one on his other arm in the shape of Geralt's hand. Geralt did make that one. Shame and regret crawled along his back. Damn it! 

“Jaskier, I-“ He tried to apologize. 

Jaskier scrambled, trying to get to his feet so he could run. Geralt cursed again, this time wrapping Jaskier in a bear hug. He tried not to hold him too tightly, worried that he would hurt Jaskier. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Jaskier wailed, no longer squirming in Geralt’s grip. 

Geralt slowly lowered Jaskier back to the ground, but kept a firm omg and on Jaskier’s wrist (but not too firm; he didn’t want to hurt Jaskier again). They walked silently back to the campsite and Jaskier sat down, staring off into the trees. Geralt sighed and wondered what he could possibly do to fix this. 

Geralt stood nearby, tending to Roach. Roach was easier to deal with than an emotional, frightened child. He knew he had to talk to Jaskier eventually, and sooner rather than later, but he really didn’t want to do that. He was terrible with words! He was even worse with emotions! Eskel needed to be here; he was good at this kind of thing! 

“Jaskier, we still need to talk-” Geralt turned to face him. 

A flash of pain. Fire in his stomach. Pressure forcing something sharp deep into his abdomen. Geralt stumbled slightly from the surprise of the attack. He looked down at Jaskier, who looked utterly terrified, but his hands were wrapped around the hilt of the very same dagger that Geralt had given to him two years ago. 

“Jaskier, what are you-?” 

Jaskier released the dagger and backed away. He turned and ran, hugging Dandelion tightly against his chest. Geralt panicked, ripping the dagger out of his stomach and grabbing a bottle of Swallow, downing it. He ran after Jaskier, who slipped into the underbrush and scurried away desperately. Geralt hacked at the underbrush to clear himself a path and pursued him. 

Unfortunately, Jaskier was very fast on his feet. He danced through obstacles with ease that Geralt wasn’t quite able to replicate, being so much larger and bulkier than Jaskier. The kid could fit into spaces and through gaps that were too small for Geralt. As such, Jaskier began to increase the gap between them.   
But Jaskier was only human and only a child. Geralt didn’t worry too much about losing the kid in the forest with his witcher senses and the increased stamina that the mutations gave him. Jaskier would tire out long before he did. He just had to follow him. 

Running wasn’t doing his stomach any favors, though, and his body wasn’t healing as quickly as he would have wanted. Blood loss was starting to make him feel woozy, but he kept running after Jaskier. Fortunately, Jaskier burst out of the woods into an open clearing and Geralt knew he could catch up with him quickly on that kind of terrain. 

Unfortunately, Geralt heard someone call out to Jaskier, asking what was wrong. This was bad. Really bad. No human would believe him if he told them what really happened. He slowed down to a jog and carefully approached the edge of the treeline, listening to see what Jaskier would say or do. 

Jaskier was panting and were those tears? Damn, somehow Geralt had really fucked up this time. Should he have just left the bodies where they had fallen last night? Would that have somehow helped his case or would Jaskier still have reacted this way? 

Fortunately (and unfortunately), Jaskier didn’t seem to trust the hunters that had called out to him. Jaskier glanced at the treeline and then back at the hunters anxiously. He shook his head at them and ran past them across the clearing toward the tree line across from them. 

Geralt had to catch up to him, but it would look really bad for a witcher to burst out of the woods covered in blood and chasing a terrified child. Geralt would just have to wait and then track Jaskier once the hunters were gone. But that was so dangerous! Anything could happen to a child in a situation like this! 

The Swallow was getting a chance to work now, at least, but Jaskier was getting away! The hunters exchanged a look before following Jaskier. Of course they would. This was going to be a serious problem. He wouldn’t be able to just take Jaskier from them if they took him in. 

Well, he could, but it would involve actually kidnapping Jaskier and Geralt wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on him 24/7 for the weeks’ worth of travel it would take for them to reach Kaer Morhen. He would have to… No, he couldn’t do that. Neither of the two options that came to his mind were acceptable. But did he have a choice at this point? 

The Viscount was still offering a reward for Jaskier’s return. People would be looking for him. He was older now, and looked different than he had two years ago, but the differences in his features weren’t drastic enough to prevent people from identifying him if they were dedicated to finding him. But how many people were still out there dedicated to finding him? Surely this last group was a fluke? It’s been two whole years since the kid was taken! 

Geralt didn’t really have a choice. He had to get Jaskier back to Kaer Morhen no matter what it cost him personally. Eskel would be devastated if Geralt lost Jaskier and the boy couldn’t be found, or worse, his father had him back and murdered him before Eskel could help. The kid was going to hate him for the rest of his life for this. 

He should have killed those men more slowly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything sucks. Jaskier is terrified and really, really just wants Eskel. Geralt makes some questionable choices and unintentionally makes everything worse and worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get really intense really fast in a different way than some of my previous writing. The following content could be triggering for some, so please read with care. If you want to read up until things get bad, stop reading at "Something felt wrong and Geralt couldn't place what it was." 
> 
> Trigger/Content Warnings for: Attempted suicide

Jaskier was exhausted. He had been running all day and now, he didn’t know where to go. He had to be safe and stay away from human adults that would try to catch and keep him or hurt him. He would never make it back to Eskel like that! But Geralt-not-Geralt would be following him. He hadn’t seen the man in a while, but that didn’t mean Geralt-not-Geralt wasn’t back there somewhere. The doppler probably wouldn’t grab Jaskier, even if he had the chance, if Jaskier was in a village or town or a city. Right? Then again, Geralt-not-Geralt wouldn’t need to worry about Witcher reputations and might not mind hurting humans to get to Jaskier. 

But why did the Doppler want Jaskier? Did Geralt have human enemies like Eskel did? A shiver ran down Jaskier’s spine when he recalled the terrible cuts on Eskel’s back when Jedynak-

Jaskier felt weird. His heart was skipping and it felt like he couldn’t breathe. He came to an abrupt stop and leaned against a tree. He didn’t let himself sit. He didn’t have- he didn’t have time for that! 

If he had known where he was when he had awoken in the camp, he would have gone back to the village. Surely he would have run into Actual Geralt, who would be looking for him! But that was a moot point. Jaskier was completely lost now, and hungry, and there was nothing he could do except run. Except now he couldn’t even do that, it seemed. 

A knot formed in Jaskier’s throat and hot tears burned his eyes. He couldn’t catch his breath and his heart felt wrong and his legs felt like jelly. He pressed his face into Dandelion’s fur and sobbed. 

He heard someone approaching and terror turned into an ice pick in his stomach. Large, rough hands wrapped around Jaskier’s arms and squeezed firmly. He looked up in a panic. For a moment, Jaskier hoped it was the real one. The mournful look on the Witcher’s face spoke of concern, but the hands…. He was hurting Jaskier. Geralt wouldn’t. Geralt wasn’t nice, but Geralt would never hurt him.

“Jaskier,” Not Geralt spoke softly. “It’s okay. Calm down. We are going to Kaer Morhen to wait for Eskel. Okay?” 

Was that what it was? Was that what the monster wanted? He wanted to kill all the Witchers of Kaer Morhen? No, no, no! 

Jaskier screamed. Not-Geralt flinched, as if he hadn’t expected such a reaction. Jaskier kicked Not-Geralt in the chest desperately, but instead of letting him go, Not-Geralt tightened his grip. 

“Jaskier, please!” Not-Geralt wasn’t even trying anymore; as if Geralt ever said please! 

“Lemme go!” Jaskier shrilly screeched as he flailed in the doppler’s grasp. 

“Damn it, Jaskier! Stop!” 

Jaskier actually did, but he was giving Geralt a look that Geralt would have been fine with never seeing on that baby face. Jaskier refused to let anyone use him to hurt his family any more. Not even if they were bigger and scarier than him! Obviously this one killed Geralt already- why else would the witcher not have come? That meant Jaskier was on his own. He had to be the one to stop this from happening! He would get away, because he couldn’t kill the doppler on his own, especially since it killed Geralt already. 

“We’re going to Kaer Morhen, okay? Eskel will be there in a few weeks.” Jaskier frowned at Not-Geralt, but didn’t answer. “Will you run if I let go of your arms?” 

Jaskier shook his head. Not-Geralt watched him for several long moments before slowly releasing Jaskier’s arms. Jaskier didn’t run. Not-Geralt sighed softly and stood up. 

“Let’s go. We have a long way to go to get back to Roach.” When Jaskier stood up, Not-Geralt took his hand firmly. 

Jaskier watched Geralt from the corner of his eye. “Are you angry with me?” 

Geralt didn’t answer. Was that a yes? Jaskier wished he could tell what the doppler was thinking. Jaskier tried again. 

“Geralt?” A pause. “Are you angry with me?” 

“I was worried about you,” Was Geralt’s gruff response. 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s alright. Just don’t do it again.” 

It wasn’t, was it? Jaskier doubted that it was actually alright, but he wasn’t going to argue with it. Jaskier didn’t make a fuss as Geralt-Not-Geralt guided him back in the direction they had come in. The burst of adrenaline that had given the boy enough energy to kick and scream died out and Jaskier found himself struggling to keep up with Geralt. When he stumbled over his own feet, Geralt stopped and picked him up. Jaskier’s skin crawled and he nearly tried to jump out of the doppler’s arms, but it actually felt kind of nice to be held against the not-witcher’s chest. He felt safe, even though he knew he wasn’t safe at all. He let himself relax against his own better judgment and rested his eyes. He told himself Eskel was carrying him and everything was just fine. 

Geralt was tired. Jaskier was, too. Up until Geralt had picked him up to carry him for a while, his heart had been pounding. That kind of exertion was exhausting, probably, for a human. Fortunately, the kid had fallen asleep in his arms. That left Geralt free to actually think about the situation. 

Jaskier wouldn’t just believe him if he told him again that he meant him no harm. He would have to prove it. That would take time, but how much time? Geralt would need to sleep eventually. Jaskier might just wait until he did go to sleep to try and make a run for it. Geralt would probably wake up if Jaskier tried anything like that, but he didn’t want to have to chase the kid through the forest again. Next time, they might not be as lucky as they were this time. Any number of things could have gone wrong, but they hadn’t. Geralt doubted he would be so lucky again in the future. 

Jaskier was definitely starving. He had been on the run all day and Geralt hadn’t noticed any evidence that Jaskier had stopped to eat or do anything other than pause and make a decision about which direction to run in. Geralt, similarly, had not taken the time to eat or drink anything. They both needed to attend to that once they got back to Roach and their things. 

When they finally reached Roach, Geralt let out a weary sigh. He adjusted his grip on Jaskier so he could hold the kid with one arm while he pulled Jaskier’s bedroll off Roach’s back. He unfurled it and then laid Jaskier down on it. 

He turned to Roach and rubbed her neck gently. “At least you aren’t afraid of me.” 

Geralt pulled some food out of their bag. He knelt beside Jaskier and gently placed an arm on Jaskier’s shoulder. Immediately, Jaskier jerked awake with a frightened gasp. He would have scrambled away if Geralt didn’t gently hold him still with his shoulder. Jaskier sagged beneath his hand and turned his head away. 

“Here, you need to eat.” Geralt held the bread out to Jaskier, who reluctantly took it. 

As Jaskier took a few careful bites of the bread, Geralt shifted into a cross legged position next to him to eat. He slowly released Jaskier’s shoulder without taking his eyes off of him. Jaskier didn’t move. Geralt felt his shoulders relax a little. At least Jaskier wasn’t going to try to run away during their meal. Maybe Geralt could still salvage this situation? 

“Why did you run away, Jaskier?” Geralt took a chance after both had eaten and had some water to drink. 

Jaskier looked up at him miserably and looked for a moment as if he was going to cry. Geralt started to reach for him, but Jaskier flinched at Geralt’s movement, so he decided against physical comforting. Unfortunately, he wasn’t really sure how else to give someone comfort. Which words should he use? It didn’t matter, though, because Jaskier’s lips twisted into a snarl. 

“Because I hate you and you’re a monster and you hurt my friend!” 

Geralt flinched. He, the witcher, the White Wolf, the Butcher of Blaviken, honest to gods flinched. “I- What?” 

“I hate you and you’re a monster! I wish you would just die!” 

It hurt. 

It hurt more than any human had ever hurt him before. 

It hurt more than the jeers and the hateful glares and the way that even cats hissed at his passing. 

He had only tried to protect Jaskier and keep him safe! He had even started to accept that he cared about the kid. But now Jaskier would never grace him with that sweet smile again. Jaskier would never look at him adoringly ever again. Now even the kindest child who loved so easily hated him and saw him for the monster he was. It didn’t feel fair. 

Geralt huffed, hiding the pain with an annoyed grunt. “We’re going to Kaer Morhen as soon as possible. I’ll leave you with Vesemir.” 

Jaskier’s expression twisted into horror and then confusion in a matter of seconds. Geralt returned the puzzled look, but he doubted his face managed to communicate any solidarity at all. At least not the kind that Jaskier would pick up on. Jaskier looked like he was going to say something but thought better of it. 

He clamped his mouth shut into a thin line and crossed his arms angrily. It was going to be a long ride to Kaer Morhen. 

And it was a long, quiet ride. Jaskier didn’t speak unless Geralt directly addressed him and even then, he had to sharpen his tone to get any reaction at all. Jaskier was definitely still afraid of him despite his anger and hate. Geralt overheard Jaskier talking to Roach once or twice while they were setting up camp, but when he approached, Jaskier clammed up and Roach just seemed confused. 

Each night was agony. Geralt could hardly sleep. Jaskier cried himself to sleep every single night and Geralt’s guilty gut twisted and churned for hours after Jaskier’s breathing slowed into the steady rhythm of sleep. He did manage to sleep, though, which was a plus, if there could be a plus in this situation.   
Jaskier ate when he was given food, but often complained of not being hungry. Once, Geralt insisted that he eat more and Jaskier complied, only to vomit less than ten minutes later. Jaskier flinched at and was easily startled by absolutely anything and everything. Geralt started to find that he had less of an appetite himself. At least Roach was doing okay. 

“We will reach the base of the mountain by nightfall tomorrow,” Geralt said as they sat by the fire, hoping that it would lift Jaskier’s spirits to know that he would be free from him so soon. 

Jaskier just cried. He wouldn’t eat or drink anything Geralt tried to give him and he refused any sort of physical contact when Geralt hesitantly made an effort to comfort him. As usual, Geralt only managed to make it worse. 

“Why?” 

Geralt frowned but at least Jaskier wasn’t crying anymore. “Why what?” 

Jaskier chewed on his lip. “Why did you do it? Why are you doing this?” 

Geralt wasn’t sure what Jaskier was talking about and said as such. Jaskier didn’t seem surprised, but he did seem a bit disappointed. The boy didn’t say anything else. Geralt considered prompting him to get him to clarify, but decided against it. Why would tonight be any different from any other night in the past week? 

Something felt wrong and Geralt couldn’t place what it was. Nothing had been right in the past week, but somehow, Geralt could feel something bad was wrong. Jaskier’s heart was beating much too quickly to be normal, he noted as Jaskier stood up. Was he going to run away again? Geralt followed him with his eyes, watching every movement Jaskier made as he walked toward Roach. 

Did Jaskier intend to try to steal Roach? As if that would work! Roach was a good girl and loyal. Roach wasn’t going to help Jaskier in his scheme to run away, although Geralt couldn’t figure out why Jaskier still wanted to run away even though they were going to make it to Kaer Morhen. Jaskier started digging in the bags, apparently looking for something. It wasn’t a big deal except Jaskier was digging through Geralt’s gear, too. 

“Jaskier.” 

The boy froze and glanced at him. “What?” 

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m thirsty.” He growled. 

“Waterskin is in the other bag. That one has Witcher Potions in it. They can kill you.” 

“I know.” Jaskier answered and Geralt’s heart plummeted to his stomach as he realized Jaskier hadn’t pulled his hand back out of the bag. 

“Jaskier, don’t!” Geralt was on his feet in an instant. 

Surprisingly quickly, Jaskier had a bottle out of the bag and was prying the cork out just a moment before Geralt reached his side. Jaskier frantically tried to pour the shimmering blue liquid into his mouth. Geralt wrestled the little bottle out of Jaskier’s hands and the substance splattered harmlessly on the ground between them. And then, Jaskier was screeching and trying to rip another bottle or vial out of the bag again. Geralt wrapped both arms around Jaskier’s waist and pulled him away in a bear hug. 

“What the fuck, Jaskier!” Geralt bellowed as he dumped the screaming child on the ground probably more roughly than he should have. 

“Eskel!!” And Jaskier was scrambling away. “ESKEL!!” 

Geralt couldn’t wrap his head around what was happening. Why was this happening? The kid just tried to kill himself and now he was screaming for Eskel as if Eskel would be in the area already. Geralt grabbed Jaskier by the ankle and got kicked in the face for it with Jaskier’s free foot. Jaskier jerked free as Geralt’s grip loosened as he processed the boot smacking his face with such force. 

“Jaskier, stop!” Geralt ordered, crossing the remaining distance between them and grabbing Jaskier by the arm and jerking the boy back. 

Jaskier yelped. Great. Geralt just hurt the kid again. This was a nightmare! 

“Stop, Jaskier! Why would you do that? We’ll be at Kaer Morhen in two days!” 

Jaskier stopped fighting, but he stopped screaming, and therefore, speaking, too. Geralt wanted to rip out every last strand of white hair on his head. What the fuck was wrong with Eskel’s kid?! How had Geralt managed to break him like this? What the hell was he supposed to tell Eskel about this?! 

“Jaskier, look at me.” Jaskier didn’t, so Geralt shook him firmly. “Jaskier.” Jaskier looked up at him through wet eyes. “Will you try to drink potions again if I let go of you?” Jaskier bit him, but Geralt was more prepared for the distraction the minor pain caused this time and he didn’t let go of Jaskier. “That wasn’t an answer.” 

Jaskier spat in his face and Geralt growled at him. His hand tightened in anger and Jaskier soon stopped squirming and trying to pull his arm free. Instead of struggling, Jaskier was whimpering now and Geralt honestly wished someone would come kill him at this point. He felt terrible, but he couldn’t let go or risk Jaskier breaking loose if Jaskier might try to kill himself again. 

How does this happen to a nine-almost-ten year-old? 

Geralt ignored the voice in his head that screamed he was doing something wrong and bad and neither Jaskier nor Eskel would ever forgive him for this. Vesemir might understand, but Lambert definitely wouldn’t. This whole thing sucked! But he had to do what he had to do to make sure that Jaskier made it to Kaer Morhen alive. 

He pulled Jaskier back to Roach’s side and used his free hand to rummage through another of his bags. His hand wrapped around the bundle and he hesitated. There would be no going back. This bridge would be permanently burned… But then again, Jaskier already hated him and wanted him to do and would apparently rather die than spend two more nights with him, so maybe that bridge was already long gone. 

“No! NO!” Jaskier kicked and screamed as Geralt pulled the coiled rope out of his bag and started wrapping it as gently as he could around Jaskier’s wrists. He had to be sure the knot would be secure, so he had to tie it tightly, but he thought it probably wouldn’t be too painful for Jaskier, if he didn’t struggle all night. Geralt cut the excess rope off and gently tugged Jaskier back toward the fire. He pushed Jaskier down onto his bedroll and grabbed the screaming boy’s ankles. 

“No! No, please! I’m sorry I kicked you!” 

That wasn’t what this was about! Geralt forced himself not to respond. He was doing this for Jaskier’s survival. In the big scheme of things, being tied up all night until they could safely travel in the morning wasn’t so bad, as long as Jaskier was alive when they made it to Kaer Morhen. 

As soon as the knot had been secured around Jaskier’s ankles, Geralt got into a kneeling position and tried to meditate. He needed to take a moment to prepare himself for the journey ahead of them. After what just happened, there would be no sleep in Geralt’s life tonight, if there would ever be true sleep in his life ever again. Jaskier went still, but Geralt heard his shallow breathing slow between soft sobs and soon, like every other night the past week, Jaskier had cried himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there will be a happy ending eventually.   
> I'll aim for writing another actual fluff piece after this one to make it up to you guys for this chapter in particular.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geralt and Jaskier arrive at Kaer Morhen. Vesemir attends to Jaskier and scolds Geralt. Geralt doesn't disagree with Vesemir's judgment.

It was a beautiful day in Kaer Morhen. It was quiet, as usual, and the flowers were in bloom despite the mildly colder weather up here during the summer compared to at the foot of the mountain. Vesemir had spent the early hours of the morning preparing a meal for himself and then puttering about the keep doing minor repairs. Now he was chopping wood. Once upon a time, this particular task may have seemed dull and boring to the old witcher, but not so much now. No, now he found its repetitive movements soothing and comforting. He greeted the weariness that accompanied hard work throughout his days here like an old friend which reminded him he was still alive.

Indeed, he needed it. Vesemir spent the better part of the year all alone up here on the mountaintop, save for when he needed to ride down the mountain to go to town, which he generally avoided doing. He preferred not to draw attention to their keep more than necessary, as humans were a fickle race and he knew their penchant for violence and hatred toward things they did not understand more than most did.

But enough of that musing. Vesemir was chopping wood for two reasons. The first was a practical one: they needed the wood for the winter months to heat the keep for himself and the other witchers and to cook over during the rest of the year, as well. The second was a personal one as he already noted to himself: he needed the distraction from the silence and the loneliness. So, he got back to it, heaving the axe down into the thick wood and watching the log split in half almost effortlessly.

Yes, it was a good day. A quiet day- Until it wasn’t.

Jaskier was screaming? But it was too soon for Jaskier to arrive and why would he be screaming at Kaer Morhen? What?

But there was no time for deliberation or contemplation, because Jaskier was screaming. Vesemir’s hand tightened around the handle of the axe and he ran in the direction that the voice had come from. He turned the corner and saw Geralt, Roach, and Jaskier- still screaming- approaching the stables. He paused, taking in Geralt and Roach’s unconcerned gait and the exhausted expression on Geralt’s face. What happened?

Vesemir lowered the axe and approached with a frown. “Jaskier! Why are you screaming? Geralt, what’s going on?”

Jaskier began screaming actual words and started hitting Geralt with all his might. Vesemir felt a strong surge of anger when he saw that Jaskier’s hands were bound. Someone had hurt their kid and Geralt hadn’t bothered to unbind his hands? But why was Jaskier screaming at Geralt over whatever had happened?

“It’s a long story, Vesemir. Just take him.”

Vesemir reached for Jaskier and gently pulled him off Roach’s back. Jaskier suddenly stopped screaming, making a confused face. Vesemir gently untied the ropes and gave the boy’s wrists a careful look. He frowned as Geralt turned Roach and headed back the direction he had come in.

“That’s better, isn’t it, lad?” Vesemir patted Jaskier on his shoulder gently. “Are you hurt?”

“Not really?” Jaskier was bewildered.

Vesemir tutted in annoyance. “Where is he going now?”

“Barghest, he said,” Jaskier answered with a spaced-out gleam in his eyes.

“Jaskier?” Vesemir prompted, kneeling in front of him.

“That’s not Geralt. It’s a doppler.” Jaskier stated as if it were obvious. “But if he’s a doppler, why would he go back to kill the Barghest?”

“A doppler?” Vesemir parroted. “I think we best sit down and talk about what happened, lad.”

“Yes, Vesemir.” Jaskier cradled his injured wrist against his chest.

“And I’ll have a look at that inside, as well.”

Vesemir stood outside Eskel’s room where Jaskier was resting. Hours had passed since Geralt left Jaskier in Vesemir’s care and it was night now. It had been an eventful and stressful couple of weeks for Jaskier and Geralt, to be sure, Vesemir thought to himself. Vesemir supposed he was now just as confused as Jaskier was. But he was certain that Geralt- if it was, indeed, Geralt- would be able to fill in the blanks and explain the entire situation. Unfortunately, even if Geralt had reasonable explanations for what had happened and could fill in the blanks that Jaskier hadn’t been able to fill, he still had quite a bit to answer for.

The heartbeat that approached the hallway he was standing in certainly sounded like Geralt’s heart. Vesemir knew each of the witchers and Jaskier by their gait and heartbeats. He smelled the same, but that wasn’t especially telling- a doppler could imitate scents, as well. He looked tired and there were blood splatters across his armor and his face. He certainly acted like himself, coming up into their living quarters covered in blood and dirt rather than stopping for a bath to make himself presentable.

“How is he?” Geralt asked, avoiding meeting Vesemir’s eyes.

“His wrist is sprained and he’s got quite a few bruises, but he appears to be fine aside from that. He’s resting now.”

Guilt was written across Geralt’s features and Vesemir recognized it. This was definitely Geralt. Only Geralt could look so dejected and absolutely furious at the same time. Vesemir huffed.

“Well, boy? Explain yourself.”

Geralt cursed. “It was fine until he got bitten by a snake! We were making good time and he wasn’t being overly obnoxious and I was getting used to him being around, but then he just had to have a bath and I fucking-” Geralt groaned. “I indulged him and he got bitten by a snake.”

Ah, yes, good. It was the last time Jaskier thought he had seen the real Geralt. Further confirmation that this was who it was supposed to be. Vesemir nodded, motioning for him to go on.

Geralt growled. “I took him to a healer and-” He paused, looking back down at his feet. “I helped the town by exterminating the snakes. The healer was very kind to Jaskier and paid me a ridiculous amount of coin for dealing with them. The next morning, I slipped out before Jaskier woke up to…”

Geralt didn’t continue this time and Vesemir felt a stab of impatience shoot through his body. “To what?” He prompted with a soft growl and Geralt mumbled something softly. Vesemir wasn’t sure he caught it, so he prompted Geralt to repeat himself.

“I went to get him a present for his birthday! And when I got back to our room, he was gone. Apparently the Viscount still wants his punching bag back and some thugs tried to take him back to Lettenhove.”

“Back to Lettenhove. It’s been two years since Eskel took Jaskier and the Viscount is still hunting for him?”

“So it would seem.”

Vesemir sighed. “And why does the boy think you’re a doppler?”

Geralt ran his fingers through his hair. “He was pretty out of it when I found him and killed the men who took him. They gave him something to knock him out. He didn’t wake up until the following morning. I guess he got confused sometime after he woke up.”

Vesemir tapped his foot impatiently. “You were rough with him. At least half the bruises he’s got are from you. And you brought him up the mountain tied up like an-”

Geralt scowled angrily. “He was going to hurt himself. Did he mention the night he tried to drink witcher potions? Because he came damn close to it. He kept running away from me and each time he ran off, he got hurt somehow. What else was I supposed to do?”

“So all of that was to protect him.” Vesemir snapped at Geralt. “What’s wrong with you? You couldn’t manage a nine year old child? You’re a witcher, Geralt!”

“I’m not a babysitter!” Geralt growled. “Eskel should have known better than to leave the kid with me in the first place!” And he stormed off, fuming.

Geralt felt terrible about it all. The poor kid was terrified of him now, as he should have been from the beginning, but that was beside the point. Geralt had managed to let himself get attached to the boy, despite his best efforts. And of course he had to go and mess it all up. He was a witcher and he should have been able to keep a nine-year-old safe from harm. To make things worse, now that little town had no healer because Geralt had had a moment of weakness.

_The healer had looked relieved when Geralt had explained that he hadn’t expected such a large payment for such a trifling matter. “Oh, I see! Well, you have more than earned this sum, Master Witcher. You’ve saved many of the children of this community a lot of pain and trauma- and their parents, too, by extension. And in the long run, you will have saved us all money and me valuable ingredients that I will need to start stocking up on essential medicines and potions for the winter, without which many would die. Please take it.”_

There would be no potions or medicines prepared for the winter season now. It had been his fault. If he hadn’t indulged Jaskier, if he had kept his distance from the kid, if he had only done something sooner…! But he had indulged the child and he hadn’t kept his distance and he had done all that he could do and it still wasn’t enough!

Now Jaskier hated him and Eskel would, too, no doubt. The thought of losing his brother caused a sharp pang of grief he wouldn’t wish on anyone. Vesemir would stop being angry eventually. Lambert would be pissed about it, but he would eventually be able to let it go. Jaskier and Eskel wouldn’t be able to let it go.

They would have to live with the consequences of Geralt’s action and inaction and failure for the rest of their lives. Geralt didn’t deserve their forgiveness and he very much doubted that it would be offered.

Geralt looked around, a little surprised that, of all the places in the keep he could have blindly wandered into, he had managed to make his way into the library.

He sighed and sat down in one of the old chairs and closed his eyes, trying to meditate. His mind wouldn’t shut up, so he opened them again and stood up to go down to the training grounds. It didn’t matter that it had become pitch dark outside as the night had fallen. Geralt needed to do something, anything!

Geralt opened the door to the library and flinched when he saw Jaskier there. He was so shocked to see the boy that he was rendered speechless. Why was he there? Was he looking for a book to read? Of course Geralt had to go someplace the kid would want to go and then traumatize him further.

“Geralt?” Jaskier asked him in a soft, vulnerable voice.

“Jaskier.” Geralt responded in kind.

“You’re really Geralt, then?” Did he actually come looking for Geralt? Why?

Geralt shrugged. “I guess so. I’m not a doppler.” Stupid witcher! Don’t be insensitive!

Jaskier rubbed at his arms anxiously. “Promise?”

Geralt wanted to scream. He didn’t, but why was this so painful?! Jaskier should be resting, not stumbling around in the darkness of the keep at night looking for Geralt. Jaskier shouldn’t be looking up at him in shame and guilt and was he going to cry?

“Jaskier-”

“I’m sorry!” Jaskier wailed. “I gave you so much trouble! And I hurt you and I got hurt and I was stupid and now you hate me, because I’m a stupid brat!”

Geralt flinched again. “What? Jaskier, no!” Where was this coming from? He reached down without thinking, intending to give Jaskier a gentle pat on the shoulder, but Jaskier jerked away.

“Don’t!” Jaskier blurted before he realized what he had done or what he was saying. His mind was turning things over and over to make sense of it all; Geralt could see it in his eyes. “I’m sorry! I-”

“Jaskier, stop!” Geralt hadn’t meant to snap, but Jaskier froze, staring up at him with big, wet eyes. “No, Jaskier, that’s not- It’s okay, okay?”

Jaskier shook his head. Geralt inwardly agreed. Nothing was right. But Jaskier wasn’t crying anymore, so that was a win, right? Geralt would be careful not to try to touch Jaskier again.

Still, Jaskier probably needed him to say something, so Geralt decided to give it a try. He opened his mouth just before Jaskier scampered off in the direction of the barracks where their rooms were. So much for that, but for the first time in over a week, Jaskier ran and Geralt did not pursue him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some healing, kind of. At least, the beginning of healing. Eskel is still away, leaving Vesemir and Geralt to figure out how to help Jaskier no matter how out of their depth they feel.

“Vesemir?” Jaskier spoke in a whisper, as if he was afraid that he was going to wake him. 

“Yes, pup?” Vesemir said without opening his eyes. 

“Did you sleep there last night?” 

“Aye.” 

Vesemir had, in fact, slept most of the night in this rickety old chair by Eskel’s door. His back protested it, but he had felt better doing so after he had returned to check on Jaskier last night and hadn’t been able to find him. He had found Jaskier in Geralt’s room of all places. It begged the question of where Geralt was, but he hadn’t bothered to ask. Jaskier had just been sitting there, looking miserable as he sniffled through soft tears. Vesemir had gently toted Jaskier back to Eskel’s room. 

“Want to talk about it?” Vesemir asked, opening his eyes and looking at Jaskier, who was peeking around the door at him. Jaskier shrugged, and when he offered no response, Vesemir sighed and nodded. “I see. Well, it’s past time for breakfast. Are you hungry?” 

Jaskier nodded slowly, but seemed reluctant. Vesemir felt a twinge of annoyance at the boy’s reticence, but continued patiently drawing information from him. 

“Do you feel okay? Does your wrist hurt?” 

Jaskier stepped more fully out of the room and shut the door. “I don’t feel good. When will Eskel be here? Did you write to him? Did you tell him?” 

Vesemir furrowed his eyebrows. “Hmm… I wrote a letter and sent it to Oxenfurt-” 

“Oxenfurt? Why would he go there?” Jaskier interrupted. 

“Ah. I imagine they have a monster problem nearby.” Vesemir dodged. “At any rate, I’m hopeful that he will get the missive and head back here soon. I think we would all be best served by holding off on filling him in on the details until he arrives.” 

There was no point in stressing the man out more than necessary. The letter would be enough to worry him, but all was well enough for now and Vesemir made sure to say as much in the missive he had sent him. Jaskier accepted the explanation easily enough, but Vesemir wasn’t sure he was happy about that. Unquestioningly accepting authority seemed unhealthy given his background and recent events. Eskel had been working quite hard on getting Jaskier to speak his mind freely and on getting him to be assertive in getting his needs met and questions answered. 

“Vesemir? Can I… Have a hug, please?” 

Vesemir hid the frown that tried to form on his lips with a nod. “Of course, lad. Get up here.” Jaskier climbed into his lap and wrapped his arms around Vesemir’s neck tightly. 

“I messed up, Vesmir. Geralt is going to hate me for all the trouble I gave him and Eskel is going to be angry and they’re going to fight and what if I messed up their relationship, too? I don’t want to hurt anybody like that!” 

A weight lifted off of Vesemir’s chest but it was quickly replaced with anxiety; he had to choose his words carefully or he would somehow make this worse. Eskel was much better with being gentle and patient and somehow wise. Vesemir wasn’t sure exactly how Eskel had turned out the way he had. Vesemir was certainly never the most affectionate type and he never really considered himself a very good father figure to any of the witchers in his tutelage, though he always did his best to prepare them for the world and the evils within it. 

“It wasn’t your fault, lad. Geralt knows you were afraid and he understands why now. He feels bad about all of this, as well. Neither of you meant to cause the other harm.” 

“But I hurt him and he hurt me and I’m afraid of him and I said something really bad to him once, before we got back here. I don’t think he can ever forgive me for it.” 

What an odd child, to be so concerned about Geralt’s feelings when he should hate Geralt for all but kidnapping him and hurting him, regardless of how minor the injuries were. Vesemir fretted. What could he say? 

“He blames himself just as much as you are blaming yourself. It seems unjust, don’t you think, for you to hurt yourselves after such a scary situation?” 

“How can we fix it?” 

This child already had more emotional intelligence than Geralt had, Vesemir sighed. “I fear I don’t know. Perhaps you should talk to him about it?” 

“I don’t know… It didn’t go so good last night.” 

“Is that what you were doing in his room last night?” 

“No. I- I followed him to the library and when we talked, I panicked and I ran.” 

“To Geralt’s room and not your own.” 

“Yeah.” Jaskier answered, sounding uncertain. “I dunno why.” 

“Neither do I. It seems illogical.” 

Funnily enough, Vesemir’s statement earned a startled but mildly amused huff from the boy. “That’s no help!” 

“Let’s go eat. It’s late in the morning and there is work to be done.” 

Geralt was carefully working on repairing a crack in one of the walls of the keep when Jaskier approached him again. Well, approached was a generous word for what happened. Jaskier hovered nearby, peeking around a bush at the white-haired witcher and quickly ducking behind it again when he noticed Geralt looking. So, Geralt stopped looking. He could feel those sad eyes watching him and guilt dripped down his back. 

Jaskier had liked him, had loved him in that way that only children can- innocently, kindly, and openly. Now, Jaskier was afraid of him and he had contributed to the boy’s increasing trauma. He wished he had never agreed to take Jaskier with him. If he hadn’t, then he wouldn’t currently be hurting so much and wouldn’t care what Jaskier thought of him. It’s amazing how quickly the boy had wormed his way into Geralt’s heart, sneaking past the walls around it and penetrating its deepest layers. 

Ah, Jaskier was walking over. Why? Geralt didn’t look. He didn’t want to scare the boy, so he just pretended not to notice him. Jaskier stopped just out of arm’s length and stared up at him. 

Geralt was about to ask him what he wanted when Jaskier blurted out. “Vesemir says it isn’t your fault and it isn’t mine and we shouldn’t be mad at ourselves because we couldn’t help what happened!” 

Geralt fumbled the tool in his hand and turned to look at the trembling child. “Jaskier-” 

“No, let me say it! You’ll just… You’ll just get snippy and you won’t mean it, but you always do it. You aren’t a monster. I didn’t think it was really you when I said it before or I never would have said it. I’m sorry, because I know how much it hurts you, Eskel, Lambert, and Vesemir whenever people call you monsters. And you’re not monsters! You’re good and you protect people and you always do your best! I want you to know that I didn’t think you were you and I don’t believe you’re a monster. I never have and I never will!” Jaskier wiped at his eyes, flinching away when Geralt shifted to face him directly. 

“I-” The words got caught in Geralt’s throat and he didn’t think he had ever felt this vulnerable or weak in any other circumstance in his life. “I know. And you aren’t a stupid brat, Jaskier. I couldn’t protect you and I messed things up even more when I got you back. That’s on me. I don’t want you to be afraid. You don’t have to come around me, Jaskier. I know you’re afraid of me now, even if you don’t think I’m a monster.” 

“But I don’t want to be! It’s not fair! Why can’t I just stop being afraid?!” Jaskier sounded dangerously close to tears again; Geralt just couldn’t seem to manage to not make the boy cry, could he? 

“I don’t know, Jaskier. But it’s not your fault. I can leave so you don’t feel-” 

“That isn’t what I want! Why are you dumb?” 

Geralt bit back a retort. Kid couldn’t make up his mind, apparently. “What do you want, then?” 

“I want things to be the way they were, before the snake, and right after. Before the bad stuff.” 

“Can’t change the past.” 

“I’m not dumb!” Jaskier huffed. “I know we can’t change the past, but we can fix things now. We have to be able to! It’s dumb if we can’t. The library tower is full of books and you and Vesemir are old, so you have to have learned something about stuff like this somewhere! And bad things happen to people all the time and they stay nice and friendly and good, like Molly!” 

How did this child even exist? This twisted world, his evil father, the way that humans hated witchers and each other- none of these things should have produced someone like Jaskier. Jaskier shouldn’t have blossomed into the kind of boy he did; he should have died or become nasty and cruel like his father before him. It’s the only thing that made sense, but here he was: kind, intelligent, and firm even if he wasn’t entirely confident in himself. He thought about other people first and had, indeed, been thinking of Geralt and Eskel first this entire time. 

Unfathomable. 

“Okay, Jaskier. I don’t know how we will fix it, but if you want to try, I will, too. Just tell me what you think will help and I’ll do it.” 

Maybe it wasn’t impossible. Just maybe. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier didn't forget what Eskel taught him about facing your fears. Geralt and Jaskier go blackberry picking.

Geralt was not sure how exactly going to pick berries was going to help their situation, but Jaskier stated that it would help so matter-of-factly that it was hard to argue with him. Geralt’s guilt over everything that had happened had made it even harder, so they were now tramping through the woods around the keep looking for blackberries. Vesemir was waiting by the stables, listening closely for any sound of trouble. 

Jaskier slipped between trees, around spiky bushes, and over roots gracefully, as if he had lived in the woods his entire life. He only picked berries with one hand, though, as his injured wrist was still healing. Geralt had to help him pick the berries because Jaskier insisted on it, but also because Jaskier visibly began to get frustrated when it took a long time for him to pick the ripe berries off the vines one-handed. 

It was going fine until Jaskier tripped and stumbled over a thick root and landed roughly on the ground. Geralt felt his body moving before he realized it and wrapped one hand around Jaskier’s forearm. He wrapped his arm across Jaskier’s back to grab his shoulder and pull him up. Jaskier froze. Geralt smelled the panic rushing off of the child and immediately withdrew his hands, stepping away. 

“Are you okay, Jaskier?” Geralt asked when he felt like he was probably far enough away from him to let the boy calm down. 

Jaskier pushed himself up to his knees and held out a hand for Geralt to take. Geralt frowned at him, not understanding the behavior. It didn’t make sense. If he was afraid of Geralt, then Geralt should leave him alone, right? Why did he insist on finding him and going berry picking with him and now reaching for his hand? It made no sense! 

Jaskier’s uncertainty increased, but he didn’t pull his hand back. Geralt just stared at him, unable to bring himself to move. Something flickered across Jaskier’s face- was it anger? Impatience? Or was it just more fear? 

“I thought you were trying to help me up.” Jaskier pulled his hand back and crossed his arms across his face haughtily. “Rude! Just leaving me sitting in the dirt like that!” 

Geralt huffed. “You’re afraid. I saw the way you tensed up and I smelled the fear on you. Why are you doing this? You shouldn’t want to be around me at all after everything that happened-” 

Jaskier sagged in defeat. Geralt wondered what he had said wrong this time. He could never win! This kid was weird and unusual and apparently didn’t think it wise to run away from danger anymore! 

“It won’t work if you don’t help, you know.” 

“I don’t understand what it is you want me to do.” Geralt growled. “It just looks like you’re torturing yourself by being around me-” 

“If I’m going to stop being afraid, I have to face what I’m afraid of! That’s what Eskel taught me! It worked before and I know it will work again. You just have to stop being-” Jaskier sputtered. “I don’t know! Didn’t anybody teach you how to face your fears?!” 

“Face my fears-” Geralt sputtered back. “I hunt monsters for a living! I face fears all the time!” 

“That’s different! You hunt monsters, because you’re a witcher and that’s what you were taught to do! But you’re afraid of people liking you and being close to you and you always pull away!” 

Geralt almost whirled around and stomped away, but instead he grit his teeth together and walked back to Jaskier with his hand held out. He bent over and helped Jaskier to his feet irritably. “I’m not afraid of people liking me. But nothing good will come of friendship or any other relationships with a witcher. One day, you’re going to wish Eskel left you with some humans and that you never met any of us.” 

Jaskier punched him square in the nose and yelped when he hurt himself more than he had hurt Geralt. Geralt sighed heavily. Vesemir tapped him on the shoulder and motioned for him to leave. Geralt did so eagerly, having had more of this confusion than he could handle for the day. 

Jaskier was shouting something after him, but Geralt tuned him out. He heard Vesemir ushering Jaskier out of the forest some distance behind him, but didn’t stop or try to listen in. Geralt took the basket which was half filled with blackberries to the kitchen and left it on a table there. Then, he wandered off to practice his sword technique on the training grounds. 

That evening, Jaskier simply ignored Geralt as he talked to Vesemir about anything and everything that crossed his mind. Being ignored gave Geralt more time to observe and he was quietly pleased to see Jaskier behaving more like himself. He seemed more at ease and it was so nice to just listen to the child ramble excitedly about the doe he saw near the outer wall of the keep that afternoon or how good the blackberries tasted. 

After they finished eating, Vesemir stood up and asked Jaskier to stay put. When Geralt started to rise, Vesemir fixed him with a stern look that got Geralt sitting back down in his seat with a sigh. Jaskier glanced at him, but quickly looked away, folding his arms and huffing. Geralt was happy to see the boy so angry with him, because if he was being openly angry, then he wasn’t terrified. That was improvement. Right? 

Vesemir returned soon with a thin, leatherbound book and sat next to Jaskier, who watched him quizzically. “You will soon be ten years of age, lad. This is your birthday present from me.” 

Jaskier unwrapped the strap tying the book closed and opened it, flipping through the pages curiously. He looked up at Vesemir, perplexed. Vesemir raised his eyebrows at him patiently. 

“It’s blank, Vesemir.” 

“Indeed, it is blank. It’s for you to write your story in.” 

Jaskier stared at Vesemir blankly for a few long moments before his eyes lit up with understanding. “Oh! Like a journal!” 

Vesemir chuckled and nodded. “What will you write in it first? Or perhaps you want to draw something?” Jaskier’s eyes brightened even more at the additional possibilities of his own book. “Do whatever you like with it. It’s yours.” 

“Thank you very much, Vesemir!” Jaskier beamed, giving the old witcher a tight hug. 

Geralt was not jealous. He wasn’t! It was just painful to see the way the child’s eyes lit up at Vesemir the gift. Geralt had tried to get the boy something nice, too, but look what his act of …. It was not an act of love, no. Nope. Not an act of love and it wasn’t jealousy he was feeling. Geralt felt anger boiling in his gut next to his shame. It didn’t matter what the emotions weren’t, though. Geralt hurt the only human that didn’t look at him with fear or expect something from him. 

“When will Eskel arrive, do you know?” Geralt asked. 

Vesemir shrugged with a sigh. “I haven’t heard back from him by letter, so I doubt he stopped long enough to write back to give us an idea of when he will return. Or he hasn’t received the letter yet. We will just have to wait patiently.” 

“The sooner the better.” Geralt grunted. 

Silence filled the dining hall. Geralt fidgeted with a buckle. Vesemir tended to the fire. Jaskier sat in silence, staring down at the journal with an odd expression on his face. Geralt did not want to ask what it was. But he also didn’t have to. Jaskier spoke up on his own. 

“Vesemir, do you think Eskel should have left me behind somewhere with some other people?” 

Vesemir froze. Geralt stiffened. Jaskier looked as if he were about to cry. 

“Why would you ask that, lad?” Vesemir asked in the most patient tone of voice he could muster; Jaskier didn’t answer. “I won’t lie to you. I told Eskel to leave you somewhere, because living among us and traveling with him would put you in danger and would put him in danger-” 

It was not the right thing to say, but Vesemir wasn’t going to back down now. He continued, ignoring the horrified looks that Jaskier and Geralt were both giving him. The old witcher sighed as he spoke. 

“I’m glad that he did not listen to my guidance. I want to have you around, lad. We love you and we want to keep you safe and raise you so you will be happy and grow into a good man. Any trouble that arises is not your fault and we will face it together. Eskel feels the same way and so does Geralt, no matter how much he might want to deny it.” 

“Is it really okay?” Jaskier asked in a small voice. “Is it really okay for me to live with Eskel and here with you all in the winters? I don’t want there to be trouble. He’s sacrificed a lot for me already.” 

“He doesn’t consider you a burden, lad, so put that out of your mind.” Vesemir answered calmly as he soothed Jaskier. 

Jaskier’s voice sounded watery as he answered. “I’ll try. But what if he dies because of me?” 

“It wouldn’t be because of you. It would be because of a monster or a human or a disease hurting him. He wouldn’t want you worrying about anything like that.” 

Jaskier did not seem convinced, but he didn’t argue or object any further. Not long later, Jaskier excused himself and Vesemir gave Geralt a long suffering sigh. Geralt was not in the mood for a lecture, but it was not wise to say no to Vesemir. Jaskier was a human child, not a witcher child. Geralt would not get the same passes that Jaskier would. 

“What?” 

“You just can’t keep your foot out of your mouth, can you, lad?” 

Geralt huffed. 

“If you need me, I’ll be in the library for a while before I turn in for the night.” 

“Right. Thanks.” Geralt had no intention of needing the older witcher or anyone else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, we will switch gears and check in on Eskel on his way to Kaer Morhen.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eskel returns to Kaer Morhen with Lambert.

“Oy, Eskel!” 

Eskel had no intention of slowing down. It had been days since he received the letter and, sure, he was running ragged and he hadn’t stopped to sleep much at all, but it was still too long to make Jaskier wait. Eskel wouldn’t slow down or stop, not even for Lambert. 

“Wait up!” 

Lambert was gaining on him. Good. It was the only way they were going to talk on their way up the mountain and Lambert would probably be huffy later if they didn’t speak to each other at all before they got there. 

“What’s your problem, Eskel?” Lambert slowed his horse to match Scorpion’s steady canter up the trail leading to Kaer Morhen. “We still have a few days or so before the kid’s birthday, don’t we?” 

“Vesemir wrote me. Said something happened, but didn’t go into much detail.” 

Lambert’s mood darkened to match Eskel’s immediately. “I’m sure Vesemir would have told you if the kid was still in danger.” 

“I don’t particularly care. I have to get to him  _ now _ .” 

Lambert didn’t argue. Eskel wasn’t insane enough to risk Scorpion’s health by pushing her too hard too fast, but he was sure she would be grateful for the rest they got at the keep. Lambert was quiet and Eskel was both grateful and annoyed by it. On the one hand, he was too worried to be entertained by Lambert’s shenanigans, but on the other, it would have been a welcome distraction from the numberless nightmares that he imagined had happened to his child. 

Halfway up the mountain, it got dark and they were forced to stop for the night. They could have kept going, but Eskel was exhausted and so was Scorpion. As they slept, Eskel was tormented by nightmare after nightmare. Each one was worse than the last. Suppose Jaskier had a broken arm or leg? Or maybe some monster that Geralt was hunting gored the poor child. Would the child be on his deathbed when Eskel arrived? Or would he be too frightened to leave the keep ever again? Had something terrible happened at the keep? Was Geralt okay? Had Geralt died in a hunt and Jaskier had traversed the wilderness to the keep on his own? 

The witchers rose early and rode the rest of the way up the mountain. Lambert made a few attempts at small talk, but eventually gave up on it when Eskel snapped at him one too many times. At last, the keep was in sight and Eskel dismounted Scorpion quickly, tossing the reins to Lambert, who caught them easily. 

Eskel ran into the keep in the bright early morning sunlight. Everything had a warm, reddish hue to it as he approached the door leading to the great hall. He stopped when he shut the door behind him and listened for any sound. His sense of smell intensified and he honed in on Jaskier’s scent. He used that information to direct his ears and ran toward the barracks where everyone slept. 

He barrelled down the hallway to his bedroom. Vesemir was sitting in a wooden chair next to Eskel’s bedroom door and Eskel slid to a stop in front of him. Vesemir yawned and stretched before addressing him. 

“Ah, Eskel, you’re here. Good morning.” 

Eskel took in a deep breath as he tried not to roar in Vesemir’s face. “Why are you so calm? What happened? Is Jaskier okay? Why are you sleeping outside our room?” 

Vesemir raised a hand in a placating gesture. “Jaskier is well. A few minor injuries, but they are healing quite well. However, I believe that it is best that we talk before you see him.” 

Eskel pursed his lips in annoyance, but he nodded in agreement. “Tell me everything.” 

Lambert led Scorpion and his horse into the stables where he found Roach. He greeted the mare and gave her a gentle pat on the side before he got the other horses settled. He finished by feeding each of them and filling their water troughs. He looked around and then followed the sound of a sword slashing into a training dummy. 

Well, it must not have been so very terrible if Geralt was outside getting some training in, right? Geralt tried to pretend he didn’t like the kid, but he couldn’t convince any of them that he didn’t care. He would be by the kid’s side if he was seriously hurt and everything wasn’t okay now. Lambert’s mood lifted as he walked over. 

Geralt was really wailing on that training dummy, though. He seemed pretty upset. Was he blaming himself for whatever happened with the kid? Typical Geralt behavior, but Lambert couldn’t say that he wouldn’t react the same way. He would blame himself if Jaskier was hurt or endangered on his watch, too. 

“Morning, Geralt.” Geralt grunted at him and Lambert resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “I guess things didn’t go so great with the kid if you’re in this kind of mood so early in the morning.” 

“Fuck off.” Geralt answered. 

“Ah, words. I was beginning to think you forgot how to use them.” 

“Shut up, Lambert.” 

Lambert could tell Geralt was feeling really bad, so he decided against poking the bear any further. Instead, he gave Geralt some space and sat down on a bench nearby, waiting for Geralt to get the violence out of his system. 

“No.” Geralt said when he walked up to Lambert a short while later. 

Lambert, having been lost in thought while Geralt trained, gave him a bemused look. “Sorry?” 

“You said things probably didn’t go so great with the kid. You’re right. They did not go well. Kid hates me, or he should. And Eskel-” 

Geralt was cut off by Eskel bellowing his name from the opposite end of the training ground. He tensed, sheathing his sword and turning to face his brother. Lambert frowned as Eskel stormed over to them. What was his problem? Things didn’t go great with the kid, but he was alive and well or Geralt wouldn’t have been out here doing training things. 

Eskel waited until he got within arm’s reach of Geralt and punched him in the face with all his might. Lambert flinched when he heard the crack of Eskel’s fist against Geralt’s nose. Geralt stumbled backward, but made no move to fight back or speak. Eskel grabbed Geralt by the collar and slammed him into the ground. That was when Geralt started to fight back. 

Eskel straddled him and started pummeling him with his fist. Geralt caught Eskel’s hand, stopping the assault with a snarl. 

“You  _ bastard!” _ Eskel bellowed, using his other hand to continue his onslaught. 

Geralt grabbed Eskel’s shoulder and pulled him closer before rolling over to switch positions. Eskel did not go down easily and the pair wound up wrestling in the damp dirt. 

“You hurt my kid!” Eskel shouted as the pair broke apart and pushed themselves to their feet. 

The fight fled from Geralt instantly. “I know.” And Lambert had never seen or heard anyone, let alone Geralt of Rivia, sound so dejected before. 

“You know.” Eskel hissed. “What? Is that supposed to placate me? You’re not even going to try to apologize or explain yourself?” 

“There’s no point in it. Apologies won’t take it back and explanations can’t change what happened.” 

Eskel tensed, locking eyes with Geralt. His eyes glinted dangerously in the midmorning sun and Lambert wondered if maybe he should get in the middle really quickly when he noticed Jaskier running across the dirt toward them. Before Eskel could attack Geralt a second time, Jaskier grabbed his arm and pressed his body and face against Eskel’s side. The boy clung to him tightly, small frame shaking as he made tiny crying sounds. 

“Jaskier-” Eskel began and knelt down, wrapping the child tightly in his arms. 

Lambert couldn’t help but notice how much like a doll Jaskier looked compared to Eskel’s height and bulky, muscular frame. Between the quiet sobs, Lambert could hear Jaskier saying “I’m sorry” over and over again and suddenly he wanted to punch Geralt, too. When he glanced at Geralt, though, he saw the way his shoulders sagged and Lambert decided to let it go. Geralt was torn up enough about this already and he already got a decent beating for whatever happened. 

“What did you mean about Geralt hurting Jaskier? Did they play a game too rough or something?” 

Eskel’s tone was icy when he spoke. “Of course not. I could forgive  _ that. _ That would be an accident. He knew exactly what the hell he was doing as he did it.” 

“I did the only thing I could think of to keep him safe.” 

“I wasn’t talking to you!” Eskel snapped and Jaskier whined. 

“Eskel, stoooop! He didn’t mean it and it was my fault in the first place!” 

The men all fell silent. 

“Jaskier-” Geralt started, sounding weary and upset. 

“No, fuck off, Geralt. I don’t want you to breathe the same air as Jaskier ever again! Did you hear what he just said?” Eskel was seething. “Look what you did! Not only did you terrorize him and tie him up and bruise his arms, but you also made him believe it was his fault you were doing it!?” Eskel hissed. “If Jaskier wasn’t here right now, I’d send you straight to hell.” 

“Eskel, no!” Jaskier wailed louder. 

“Shh, shh. It’s okay. Let’s go get you back in bed.” Eskel plucked Jaskier up and held him close against his chest. Jaskier wrapped his arms around Eskel’s neck and his feet around his waist so he could maintain his balance. 

“But Eskel, you don’t understand!” Jaskier objected through his tears. “You have to listen!” 

“Rest first, then we talk, okay?” Eskel compromised and Jaskier reluctantly agreed. 

After Eskel marched away with Jaskier, Lambert turned his attention back to Geralt. “You did what, now?” 

Eskel leaned against the wall outside his bedroom later that evening. He needed to think everything through and he couldn’t think straight when he was sitting next to Jaskier in their room. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to go down to the training grounds or to walk down to the bathhouse to clean up a little and get the space he very much needed to process all of this information. So, he leaned against the wall, closed his eyes, and breathed. 

He opened his eyes when he heard Lambert’s footsteps coming up the hall toward him and gave the other witcher a solemn nod. Lambert leaned against the wall across from Eskel and folded his arms, as well, mirroring Eskel’s position. 

“The kid okay?” 

“Yeah, he’s okay.” Eskel sighed. 

“You okay?” 

“No. Not really.” 

“I talked to Geralt-” 

“And I talked to Jaskier.” 

Lambert nodded. “It was quite a mess they got into, wasn’t it? But it wasn’t really either of their fault. Geralt did some shitty things, but he was worried about Jaskier and it was the only thing he could think of to keep the kid safe and to get him back home safely.” 

“It’s been two years since the last time anyone tried to grab him to take him back to his father for the reward money. I didn’t even realize that he was still trying to get Jaskier back. Why he wants Jaskier back, I don’t understand. He doesn’t love him and he clearly hates him, so why does he want Jaskier to be returned to him? Can’t he find something else to occupy his time?” Eskel muttered. 

“Still gonna kill Geralt over it?” 

“No, I guess not.” Eskel sighed. “But I’ll be damned if I ever leave him alone with Jaskier again.” 

“He feels awful about it.” 

“So do I.” 

“Maybe you should talk to him- and I do mean talk, not punch.” Lambert said. 

“When did you become the voice of reason?” 

“Today, when you stopped being the voice of reason. You can have the job back whenever you want it. You’re the reasonable one here, you know? The most balanced person out of all of us. Except maybe Vesemir.” 

“It’s my fault this happened.” Eskel stated, earning a bewildered look from Lambert- man, it was weird to be so confused so often and Lambert would like off this boat, thank you very much. 

“How? You didn’t do anything except go get the kid a present.” 

“Jaskier thought Geralt was a doppler. The only doppler Jaskier has ever been exposed to was the one that masqueraded as me outside Rysenlaand. If I had been able to protect him from that a year ago, then none of this would have happened in the first place.” 

That made a lot of sense, actually. Finally all the information that he had gleaned from Geralt and the others was making sense! Jaskier kept trying to run away from Geralt because he thought Geralt was a literal monster, a doppler. Geralt kept trying to catch Jaskier because Jaskier kept running in a panic and unintentionally toward danger and tying the kid up and using more force than normal was necessary. It even explained why the kid thought it was his fault. What a mess! But the first step to cleaning a mess is knowing what needs to be cleaned. 

“None of that was your fault, either, Eskel. Give yourself and Geralt a break. Clearly Jaskier already has. Vesemir said that the kid has been trying to fix things with Geralt since they got back to the keep and got everything cleared up.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for hanging in there with me while I write this story, even when I go over a month without updating it. I've enjoyed writing it, but I was having a hard time figuring out what to write for this chapter/how to start to bring this particular fic to a close/finish fixing what I broke for Geralt, Jaskier, and Eskel, which is what took me so long for this chapter. I hope you enjoy the latest chapter and that you have a Happy New Year! 
> 
> <3 Sui


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With help from Jaskier, Eskel and Geralt smooth things over between them and everyone finally gets to quietly celebrate Jaskier's birthday.

It took a few days for Eskel to cool off enough to let Jaskier and Geralt exist in the same room together- and it was thanks almost entirely to Jaskier’s insistence that he wanted to see Geralt in the first place and to Jaskier expertly repeating sage advice that Eskel had apparently given the child previously about coping with fear- and the first meal they shared together was dinner one evening. 

Geralt entered the dining hall after the others and hesitated at the door when he saw Eskel and Jaskier sitting together across from Lambert. Neither Eskel nor Lambert seemed to notice him faster than Jaskier, which naturally meant that the boy was actively watching for him. Jaskier excitedly waved to him and Eskel looked up. Geralt braced himself to be yelled at, but Eskel didn’t shout. Geralt was still considering coming back later, but Jaskier shouted to him. 

“Geralt! Come eat with us!” 

The look on Eskel’s face turned instantly from one that demanded Geralt leave into one that promised hell if Geralt walked away. This sucked. Geralt sighed and strode into the room as if he owned the place, projecting more confidence and standoffish energy than he really felt he had. 

Unfortunately, this had the intended effect on no one but Jaskier. The boy seemed to withdraw as Geralt sat next to Lambert and Geralt felt an intense spike of guilt in his gut. Eskel’s fist was tight around his fork as he stabbed a piece of meat and Geralt knew that if Eskel had his way, the meat was not who he would be stabbing right now. Geralt almost wished he would stab him. Then this discomfort that he couldn’t quite understand or stomach would be physical pain and he knew how to deal with physical pain. It would be a welcome change, like the way the other witcher had broken his nose the other day. It hadn’t felt good, but it had felt familiar and welcome. 

“Look, it’s grouchypants.” Lambert tried to lighten the mood. “You and Geralt are looking even more alike these days than normal.” 

Eskel’s dark glare switched from Geralt to Lambert and oddly, it helped to have the intensity of that fury directed at someone else. Maybe it was because in general, Eskel was the most level-headed of them all. He was typically slower to anger and much more patient. The kid was really lucky that Eskel had found him, really, because Lambert would have had the kid jumping off buildings for fun and Geralt would certainly stunt his emotional growth. Vesemir might have considered making him a witcher if they still had the ability to make new ones. What a tragedy- no, a travesty!- That would have been. Jaskier the witcher instead of Jaskier the kid who wanted to be a bard. 

“How are you, Geralt?” Jaskier sounded nervous but polite and a different negative energy fell over the witchers and the child all at once. 

His tone of voice was different than it had been with any of them all this time. It was a measured sentence that would give the child more information as to how he could safely approach this entire situation. How angry was Geralt? Was Geralt angry with him? Was anyone going to get hurt? Were his father and his uncle going to beat each other to a pulp in front of him? Was this how he spoke to his father when he recovered from whatever beatings the man had given him before? Was this how the kid had survived for eight years in that gilded cage? Was this how the child tried to protect his mother from his father’s uncontrollable rage? Geralt wanted to run. Eskel and Lambert both looked as uncomfortable as he felt. 

“Fine. I’m fine.” Geralt mumbled and he would have left it at that, but… “I’m sorry-” 

“I’m sorry, too, Jaskier.” Eskel interrupted, pulling the child into a hug. “We aren’t going to fight anymore. I don’t want you to be afraid or worried anymore, okay? I’m not going to hurt Geralt anymore. I forgive him. You don’t have to apologize or try to fix things anymore, okay?” 

“It’s okay. Really!” Jaskier insisted. 

“Stop that, Jaskier. You don’t have to smooth things over to make me feel better. I haven’t been behaving like I should. It’s not right to hit people unless they’re going to hurt someone else and Geralt didn’t mean to hurt either of us.” 

Geralt was relieved that he didn’t have to do any more of the talking. He didn’t want to try to put into words his guilt about everything that had happened to Jaskier or about his own role in the continued hostilities between himself and Eskel since it happened. Eskel was better about words and Eskel understood Geralt just the same as he always had. Geralt didn’t have to be well-spoken with Eskel- he had never had to be. 

“You won’t hit each other anymore?” Jaskier asked. 

“Only when we’re training. Not because we’re angry or trying to hurt each other. I promise.” Eskel said. 

Geralt grunted his agreement, hoping that that was sufficient. Lambert was watching all of them carefully. It was the first time that Geralt noticed how tense their youngest brother had been during this entire episode. This was even hard for Lambert, who looked up to Geralt and Eskel, even if he would never voice it. 

“I’m glad!” Jaskier declared. “I was really worried about you guys.” 

“Well, no more of that.” Eskel said, patting the boy’s shoulder. “You have more important things to worry about.” 

“I do?” 

“Yes. You’re ten years old now. You’re practically grown up. And however will you become a bard without an instrument?” 

Jaskier wilted a little bit. “Oh.” 

Vesemir stepped back into the hall, having apparently been listening just outside the doors the entire time. Geralt felt a twinge of annoyance at his hands-off approach, but he couldn’t argue that it hadn’t been effective. They had to work this out amongst themselves anyway, didn’t they? 

Under Vesemir’s arm was a package wrapped carefully with a ratty old blanket and tied closed with a piece of rope. Vesemir handed it to Eskel, who turned to Jaskier and held it out for him. Vesemir looked pleased with the resolution of the tension in the room as Jaskier looked at the shape in Eskel’s hands. 

“What’s that?” Jaskier asked, eyes bright. 

“Your birthday present from me, master bard.” Eskel stated as Jaskier took it and held it in his lap. 

“What is it!” Jaskier’s excitement was bubbling over. 

“Open it and see for yourself.” Eskel chuckled. 

Jaskier fumbled with the knot in the rope until he got it loose and unwrapped a lute-shaped case made with cedar and a leather strap. He opened the latch that held it closed and squealed with excitement as he admired the instrument inside. 

“A lute!” Jaskier was over the moon. 

Geralt remembered his own gift in the bottom of his pack in his bedroom and wondered if he should go and get it or wait until later. Lambert bent over and dug around in his pack, which Geralt had only just noticed the younger witcher had brought into the dining hall in the first place. 

“Yes, excellent.” Lambert said cheerily. “Now the bardling has an instrument and a book to write songs in, but what good is any of that without a decent education from the finest school of music on the continent?” 

He pulled a hefty satchel out of his pack and placed it in front of Jaskier’s empty plate. “It’s not enough for your entire school career, but it’s a start, right? I don’t know how much it costs to go to a college like the one in Oxenfurt. If we pool our finances, I’m sure it won’t be too hard to send you to school, kid.” 

“Lambert-!” Eskel was awed. 

“I have something for you, too, Jaskier.” Geralt said reluctantly. “But it isn’t anything as exciting as a lute or money for school.” Nevertheless, Jaskier’s bright eyes turned to Geralt and he knew in that moment that Geralt could have gotten the kid a piece of dried jerky and it would have meant the world to him. “I’ll go get it.” 

When Geralt returned, all of Jaskier, Lambert, and Eskel’s dishes had been cleaned away, but the food was left out for Geralt and Vesemir. Vesemir was eating quietly as Jaskier plucked at the strings on his lute discordantly. Geralt walked over to Jaskier, who looked up at him brightly. Uncertain about what to do with himself, he just thrust the book in the child’s face and waited for him to take it. 

“There were other books, but I thought you wouldn’t like them.” Or that Eskel wouldn’t approve of the topics. 

Jaskier looked the book over, reading the title and then skimming the first page quickly. “Fairy tales? My mother used to tell me stories about fairies who whisked away bad people and gave good things to people who treated them nicely.” There was an odd expression on the boy’s face and Geralt feared he had done something terribly wrong. 

Eskel looked alarmed, too, when Jaskier sniffled and wiped at his eyes. “Thank you, Geralt! Maybe now I won’t miss her so much.” Jaskier gave Geralt a tight hug with one arm as he clutched the tome against his chest. 

Geralt didn’t trust himself not to say or do something wrong, so he just hugged the boy back until he let go and sat back down. Speechless, Geralt walked over to the table and sat down to eat. He didn’t look up when he imagined Eskel’s eyes watching him to make sure he didn’t mess something up. Eskel wasn’t the sort of man to do that kind of thing, anyway. And while feelings might still be hurt and trauma wasn’t going to just be washed away with hugs and forgiveness, he had faith that things would get back to normal soon enough and eventually everything would be okay. They were all going to be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter to bring this tale to its conclusion. Obviously the boys have a lot of work to do to deal with all of this trauma, but they'll figure it out. 
> 
> I am exploring a series of different ideas in my head about where to take this story next. This series is far from over and I appreciate all of your support and the fact that all of you have been reading and enjoying my stories. 
> 
> Love you all! 
> 
> ~Sui


End file.
